Politics regularly appears on the top of list of things you shouldn’t talk about on a date, topics to avoid at dinner parties and things never to be discussed with your partner’s parents. That’s because personal politics is a tricky – very tricky – subject. Thing is, unless you talk about it you won’t know if your partner is a closet racist, hates immigrants, is avoiding taxes or is pro-life. Most people will probably admit to which party their political allegiance lies and sure, republicans and democrats can happily share a life, but if your political views are at opposite ends of the spectrum, can you be a successful relationship? Should you even try?
1. Open Yourself up to Other People’s Ideas
You are stuck with your ideas and that is the way you are going to stay. It is a common idea, a common philosophy, and a common frame of mind. Another word for it is “ignorance.” If you go from college, all the way to retirement and maintain the same political and ideological views, then you are ignorant. There is no way that one side is right all the time. If you pick a position and stick with it through your life, then you are ignoring all evidence to the contrary. Can you honestly say that every democratic or republican leader has been great or perfect? A true believer in what is right, will switch parties depending on which is the “most” right or the “least” wrong. There is no perfect answer. If you find your partner is in the “ignorant” mindset, it will be hard for your relationship to grow through the years.
2. If You Cannot Change Your Mind, then How do You Expect Him to?
If you are unable to see things from his point of view, then how do you expect him to see things from your point of view. You may believe that how much holiday pay a person gets or how much they are paid is a big issue. He may believe that the amount of jobs available and a person’s freedom to switch from one job to another is a bigger issue. If you are not able to see things from his side, then why are you even bothering to convince him to see things from your side?
3. Most Couples Form a Collaborative Opinion
Over time, most couples will merge their personality. In most cases, a healthy couple will see the man become more feminine and the woman become more manly. Each takes traits from each other. A shy woman dating an outgoing man will usually (eventually) become more outgoing herself. Obviously, if you are not in a healthy relationship, then this doesn’t apply. Nevertheless, there is a chance that if you are both polarized, that eventually you will meet in the middle. There may always be issues that you both cannot agree on, but that is the way democracy works. If two sides are constantly in agreement, then why bother having political parties at all?
4. Do You Have Any Respect for Him at All?
To brush off his ideas, his opinions and his thoughts may show a lack of respect for him. If that is the case, why are you with him? He may not be able to articulate his reasons and his feelings, so why punish him for it? Instead, why not try to help him articulate his feelings and thoughts more openly? At least that way you may find the root of why he thinks the way he thinks. You have not led his life, seen the things he has seen, or experienced the things he has experienced. You should at least respect the journey that brought him to the opinions he has formed.
5. Most People Form Their Opinions from a Good Place
He has not formed his opinion because he is a bad person. Democrats often try to portray republicans as evil and nasty, but what they think comes from a good place. Republicans try to portray democrats as drug smoking non-thinkers, but democrats start their opinions from a good place. You should both do what the parties should do. You should both listen to each. You may find that even though your opinions differ, you both started at the same “good” place.
6. Do You Really Want to Be with Somebody That Agrees with Everything You Say?
It can be terribly annoying and frustrating to have a guy agree with you all the time. Polarized opinions may cause friction, but it is better than living with a pushover. You know you aren’t right all the time so it’s important to find a way to get him to at least open the debate rather than just concur with your thoughts.
7. Let Him Be the Yang to Your Yin
If you truly cannot come to terms with his political views, does that really mean you have to stop loving him? Part of him being him means that he thinks and feels the way he does. At the very least, you should have respect for what he thinks. If you want to change his mind, then put yourself in his shoes. Alternatively, you should ask yourself if you really need a person that is on the same page as you. We all need a counter-force in our lives. We all need a person that makes us whole. The fact he is different to you is probably a good thing.
In a relationship you can’t ignore politics just because it is boring, an individual’s voice is ineffectual or because it is dodgy ground. You should know the political views of your partner even if you don’t agree with them.