Sometimes love is blind, and you don’t always choose the person you’ll fall in love with, but if that person happens to be a married man, I believe you should know what are the things you shouldn’t do or what are the lies you should stop telling yourself when you are the other woman. I know this is a very sensitive issue that may cause a lot of stir among you ladies, and you should know that in fact nobody wants to be the other woman in any relationship, but sometimes, these things just happen and those women might think they just don’t have any control over it. Well, you couldn’t be more wrong! Here are a few lies you should stop telling yourself when you are the other woman.
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1. “I’m His True Love.”
Well, this is definitely one of the top lies you should stop telling yourself when you are the other woman. You might think you are his true love or you might even feel this way, but you should probably think again. Most affairs are amazing at the beginning because you don’t have all those responsibilities a normal couple has like bills, kids, mortgages. But, just like every beginning, this will come to an end too and even if now you do believe you are his true love, think about the fact that at a certain point in his life, his wife was his true love and that didn’t stop him from cheating on her.
2. “He Will Leave His Family for Me.”
This is another common lie women tell themselves when they are involved in an affair with a married man. Even if he does tell you that you are the most important person in his life and that he will leave his wife and kids so he will be with you, there are so many chances this isn’t true, thus never going to happen. In most cases, especially if there are kids involved, the husband will never leave his family. He will just tell you that so he will convince you to continue that affair.
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3. “He Wants Us to Stay in Because He Cherishes the Time He Spends with Me.”
Most women who are involved in a relationship with a married man are often blinded by the feelings they have for that man and they just refuse to see the truth. I know you might think that the reason you don’t go out that much is the fact that he cherishes the time he spends with you and that’s why he wants you to stay in, when in fact, the truth is that he doesn’t want to risk getting seen with you in public, because his wife might find out about his affair.
4. “His Wife Doesn’t Know How to Make Him Happy.”
Even if you believe that he is with you because he wasn’t satisfied in his marriage or that his wife is frigid, too demanding or even cold, you should know that these things are probably not true and it tells you that, he’s probably lying. Most of the time, the women who are being cheated on are wonderful, loving wives who are taking care of their families. You should start thinking that maybe the one with the problem is the guy you’re having that affair with and not his wife.
5. “Once He Will Leave His Wife, It Will Be Just Us.”
Most of the times, the men who are leaving their family so that they could be with the other woman are quite guilt-ridden about losing their family soon after they did it. They often realize that it wasn’t a smart decision and that they’ve caused a lot of pain to their loved ones. Also, if he has kids from his former marriage, he will regret the fact that he won’t get to see them as much as he used to and in time, he might even blame you for that. Either way, if he has children, you will never be just the two of you, because you will have to share him with his former family and with his kids.
6. “No One Will Love Me More than He Does.”
If you think that no one will love you more than this man you’re having an affair with, then you should wonder if you have any problems with your self-esteem. Everyone deserves to be loved and even if he might tell you that you will never find somebody better, don’t believe him! There are a lot of great guys who will love for the wonderful person that you are, so stop hurting yourself and his family by being involved in such a thing.
7. “He Must Really Love Me Because He is so Passionate.”
Even though you might really think that he loves you because he’s always so passionate and that he shows his love by always doing all kinds of small affectionate gestures, be careful because you might get hurt. The thing with the affairs is that they are passionate; in fact this is the way they should be, so that’s why most people are tempted to cheat on their significant other: for the thrills. So, stop lying to yourself, because this isn’t love.It's more like an adrenaline rush or pure physical attraction.
Affairs can always cause a lot of pain to all the people involved: to his family, to him and especially to you. If you’re tempted to take this step, think again and try to be rational. Find someone who really deserves you and who can really make you happy. Have you ever been the other woman? If so, what are the lies you often told yourself? Please share your opinion or your advice in the comments section so we can all learn from your experience. Thanks so much!
Comments
Lolax: there is no pain like being in a situation like this, my life is grey and i cannot think about anything other. The amount of times ive wanted to end it but decide to give him a little bit longer because i am in love with him is numerous. I feel comforted that I am not the only one but also pained because I know how awful your lives become.
Stephanie: (Sorry fingers to fast) ....it was to inform and empower. JMHO
Sara: I can only speak from the other side of the fence as the wife. It's a terrible place for anybody to be in and all parties involve get hurt. There are no winners. It's true however, he's not going to leave his wife. Your his way of avoiding the real issues and problems in his marriage. And you are involved in his marriage. Reality comes crashing in on him, usually after he is caught and the magnitude of what he has done will hit him. You will become his regret. Do yourself a favor, find someone who is going to treat you well, take you out, take you home to meet his family. Don't do this to yourself and someone's wife.
Sara: Write a comment ..
Aly: If you know someone's married, yet you continue it... Morals set aside, you're dumb! Not only is it selfish to step into a family (kids or not), you are a rebound and I don't pity you for that. I feel bad that you're that naive in the first place to even believe he's a good PERSON in the first place! That's a horrible thing to do to both parties involved. Have some self esteem and go after someone who is readily available... Meaning single and READY to start new with someone else... Not hopping to another relationship after another one ends. I think this is a good post, because it might put these "dreams" to bed for some with brains...
Stephanie: Hmmm, did anyone actually READ this article? Rather than a "how to" on affairs this was more of a "wake up and smell the coffee". Sort of an editorial intervention for the other woman to help her realize the reality of her relationship without condemning her. My great-grandmother was a very wise woman and once told me that when I first decide to point my fingers, to remember there are three others pointing back at me. The purpose of this article was not to condemn or condone;
Fai: Wow so true :-) Feel blind all the whole time with a married man And finally get over it makes me feel release and happier
Annamaria: I don't like this article. I'm tired of reading ways about being the other woman. I was one. It killed me. I made a mistake. But never would I encourage this action or how to be smarter about doing it. Women need to understand that cheating men are the problem, not the other woman. The wives/girlfriends need to get these men out of their lives and teach them to grow up. Taking a cheater back makes you an enabler. You allow him to cheat and get away with it. Men need to feel some pain for their actions as well
john: i am a married man and my wife had the affair. I've stayed w her, but i wil never b the same. The things she did w him, that she has never done w me...will haunt me a long time. And seeing her sad because she misses him...hurts so bad. The pain this other man caused by reentering her life ( they were former child hood sweet hearts n sexual partners) is great...n in spite of all that, he still makes contact w her...n every time he does, a little piece of US dies. My point, takes two to tango n married women like the passion of the tango n r just as tempted to risk it all n cause great emotional harm to sway n grind to that seductive dance. A dance that the two participants feel great pleasure, but whose end is a near endless sea of pain for everyone.
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