I went to an amazing event recently – it was all about the must-have life skills that turn ordinary people into dating pros. You know, the people who seem to know their type instantly, and be able to find people who you’d guess they’d been with their whole life. Dating isn’t always fun – finding the right person to enjoy meals, cuddles on the sofa and ice-skating with can be a challenge, and downright depressing at times. Master these must-have life skills, though, and it all seems much easier, and much more natural. Have you perfected them?
This really is one of the most underused must-have life skills! You wouldn’t get in your car without knowing where you were going, so don’t do it when you are dating, either. Do you want a long-term partner? A bit of fun? Do you want someone to travel the world with, or someone to settle down with? Decide what your end-game is, and you’ll find it much easier to work out if you are on the right track.
Don’t drag things on for longer than you need to. It’s really easy to avoid saying goodbye because it’s comfortable having someone around, or you don’t want to go back to watching The Walking Dead on your own, but your body language will change and it’s confusing. You’ll also lead the other person on, and potentially cause a lot of hurt. Reassess where you are going frequently, and end things as quickly and as nicely as you can if you don’t think things are working out. It’s the right thing to do.
Some people just have a knack for choosing the perfect date. Want a romantic meal? They know just the restaurant. Looking for something fun to do? They can run off a reel of events happening nearby. If you don’t have amazing date-selecting abilities, though, you’ll need to put more effort into it. Agree to go out for a meal, for example, and then spend time finding a restaurant in a good location, with a good menu, and a reduced chance of running into friends who could make things awkward.
Dates tend to follow the same script, roughly. You’ll ask about his family, his job, his home, his friends. The questions are easy and expected, and everyone has answers that make them look smart. The script isn’t always smart, though. Ask about childhood vacations, meals he’s loved, what TV series he wished would go on forever. You’ll soon be having a much funner, more natural conversation.
How polished is your elevator speech? And would you choose you, if you heard it? We tend to create professional elevator speeches that sell our careers, but are pretty boring on a personal level. Work out how to talk about you and make you sound interesting. Once you’ve done it, it’ll serve you brilliantly for years.
Go into a date knowing that something will go wrong. You’ll pronounce a famous French wine wrong, you’ll forget his name, you’ll knock your wine over his crisp white shirt. Prepare to recover from it with confidence and grace, and you’ll seem much more laid-back when it happens. Apologise and poke a little fun, but don’t take it so far that you make the other person awkward. Remember that dates will focus on your best qualities, and help them to do it!
This is another of the famous must-have life skills – being in the now. Shorten your horizons, and ask yourself if you want to see the dessert menu, rather than if you can imagine yourself walking up the aisle with him. Think in terms of the next 20 minutes, rather than the next 20 years. People reveal themselves slowly, as they let their guard down, so you can’t make snap judgments.
Master these must-have life skills, and dating will suddenly feel like child’s play. You’ll feel comfortable and confident, and be much more likely to identify Mr. Right without wasting time on Mr. Wrong! Have you found any other must-have life skills that could rejuvenate your love life? I’d love to know what’s helping you!