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7 Reasons Never to Date a Friend's Ex ...

Alison

You should be aware of the many reasons never to date a friend's ex. It might seem as though a guy is fair game once your friend has dumped him, but dating a friend's ex can lead to a pretty messy situation. It's almost certainly best avoided if you want to keep your friend. Here are some sound reasons never to date a friend's ex …

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1. Consider Her Feelings

One of the most important reasons never to date a friend's ex is that you should consider her feelings on the matter. There are some women who won't mind, especially if they didn't date the guy for very long. It's more likely though that she would feel very uncomfortable about it. Do you really want to risk a friendship for something that may not last?

2. Friendship First

Your loyalty should be to your friend first and foremost. You were friends with her before you ever met this guy, remember. How would you feel if she dated your ex? You probably wouldn't like it, so give her the same courtesy and consideration that you'd expect.

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3. The Ick Factor

Frankly, the thought of sleeping with the same guy your friend slept with is creepy. It's rather like an intimate version of 'Six degrees of separation' - and do you really want to be only one step away? I have lots of things in common with my friends, but I don't want sexual partners to be one of them.

4. Comparisons

Then there's the chance that he might compare you to her. You'll want to think that he's happier with you than he was with her (though how respectful is that to your friend?), but there's the risk that he might say something quite different when you fight (and you will). Plus, you'll be forever wondering if he is thinking about her when he's with you … don't go there.

5. Suspicion

Dating your friend's ex can lead to other problems. She may start to wonder if you always fancied him - or if you were just waiting for them to split all the time she was dating him. Once that kind of suspicion is set up, she may then start to think that you have your eye on her current guy as well. It'll create a lack of trust and drive a wedge between you.

6. Getting the Go Ahead?

Of course, you could ask your friend if she's ok with the idea of you seeing her ex, because then you've got her blessing, right? But even if she says she's fine with it, that may not be the case. Perhaps she feels obliged to say yes, or thinks that she's not going to feel jealous. The reality may turn out to be completely different.

7. Reasons Why They Broke up

Your friend broke up with her boyfriend for a reason. You might think that those reasons won't repeat themselves in your relationship. You may reason that he cheated on her because he was unhappy, and that he'll never do the same thing to you. Chances are you'll be kidding yourself - you can't be sure that he's right for you any more than he wasn't right for your friend.

There are plenty of men you could date, so why complicate your life by dating a friend's ex? You risk losing your friendship for the sake of a guy that you probably won't date for long. A good friend should be cherished. Have you been in this kind of situation before?

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Where Thoughts and Opinions Converge

i find it hard to find my friends boyfriends fit as i instantly see them as brothers

I had been dating a guy on & off for about 5 years. I was friends with a girl for 3. I moved away & she was the middle man for us when we would fight, so they became close separate from me. I went back to visit & when I got back, they told me that they had feelings for each other. When I got upset, she couldn't understand why. So that was obviously the end of both of those relationships.

@shannon that's wrong on so many levels

my sister in law is marrying her friends ex, she was there for her listened her she let her move in with her after they broke up .I think it's wrong and he was the one that cheated so I'm sure my sister in law can expect he will cheat on her as well ...Karma

i have a lot of friends that broke up with their exes and i was always the one to console them, and one of their exes tried to land a bomb on me, but good thing i value my friendship enough to know that its not the right thing to do..

goes against gurl code. don't do it. there are soooo many other guys out there. why the friend's ex? even if she is ok with it, just don't do it. out of respect.

my 'friend' offered to console me right after my breakup. later she got my ex. I felt like being cheated. so yes, I hate that.

I was best friends with a girl for a few years, she dated a guy for a year then she cheated on him and they split up. 2 years after their split I got together with her ex. She was the one to set us up together. Obviously she still wasn't happy about it deep down and we fell out. 4 years later me and the guy are still very much in love and I haven't missed my old friend one bit. it's wrong to always assume that your friend and her guy split because HE cheated. My guy treated my friend like a queen when they were together but she walked all over him and treated him like crap. I think there was a good amount of time between them splitting up and us getting together. it all worked out perfectly for us.

I have a friend who has feelings for my Ex-boyfriend and hasn't even asked me in general to see how my feelings were. I did feel betrayed. Especially when I just broke up with this guy 3 weeks ago and she started having feelings about him while I was an item before the break up. Yeah… I told her to be very careful with this guy cuz he will repeat stuff again. I value my friendship, but if she gets hurt by him with the same crap he did to me will make me feel more than upset…

can I just say that the whole comparison thing is not an 'if' ,but a 'when' it's bound to happen!