You should be aware of the many reasons never to date a friend's ex. It might seem as though a guy is fair game once your friend has dumped him, but dating a friend's ex can lead to a pretty messy situation. It's almost certainly best avoided if you want to keep your friend. Here are some sound reasons never to date a friend's ex …
One of the most important reasons never to date a friend's ex is that you should consider her feelings on the matter. There are some women who won't mind, especially if they didn't date the guy for very long. It's more likely though that she would feel very uncomfortable about it. Do you really want to risk a friendship for something that may not last?
Your loyalty should be to your friend first and foremost. You were friends with her before you ever met this guy, remember. How would you feel if she dated your ex? You probably wouldn't like it, so give her the same courtesy and consideration that you'd expect.
Frankly, the thought of sleeping with the same guy your friend slept with is creepy. It's rather like an intimate version of 'Six degrees of separation' - and do you really want to be only one step away? I have lots of things in common with my friends, but I don't want sexual partners to be one of them.
Then there's the chance that he might compare you to her. You'll want to think that he's happier with you than he was with her (though how respectful is that to your friend?), but there's the risk that he might say something quite different when you fight (and you will). Plus, you'll be forever wondering if he is thinking about her when he's with you … don't go there.
Dating your friend's ex can lead to other problems. She may start to wonder if you always fancied him - or if you were just waiting for them to split all the time she was dating him. Once that kind of suspicion is set up, she may then start to think that you have your eye on her current guy as well. It'll create a lack of trust and drive a wedge between you.
Of course, you could ask your friend if she's ok with the idea of you seeing her ex, because then you've got her blessing, right? But even if she says she's fine with it, that may not be the case. Perhaps she feels obliged to say yes, or thinks that she's not going to feel jealous. The reality may turn out to be completely different.
Your friend broke up with her boyfriend for a reason. You might think that those reasons won't repeat themselves in your relationship. You may reason that he cheated on her because he was unhappy, and that he'll never do the same thing to you. Chances are you'll be kidding yourself - you can't be sure that he's right for you any more than he wasn't right for your friend.
There are plenty of men you could date, so why complicate your life by dating a friend's ex? You risk losing your friendship for the sake of a guy that you probably won't date for long. A good friend should be cherished. Have you been in this kind of situation before?
Please rate this article