There are plenty of reasons not to date within your circle of friends. When it comes to the dating game people tend to pitch all sorts of theories that just never work. But the simplest of them all comes down to just looking beyond the typical group of people you surround yourself with on a regular basis. Before you go after one of your besties, make sure you consider these reasons not to date within your circle of friends and you could end up saving yourself (and everyone else) a lot of heartbreak.
Snapshot Survey
Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
Please subscribe for your personalized newsletter:
1. No Potential of Splitting up Your Friends Group
One of the most obvious but nonetheless important reasons not to date within your circle of friends is realizing that there is no potential of splitting up your friends group if you don’t look there in the first place. Expanding on tat point, (especially if you’re young), chances are your first few relationships have a small chance of ending in marriage so it’s inevitable that you’ll break up. And what comes with break-ups are split-ups, particularly if you’re dating within the same circle. Do yourself and everyone else a favor, by keeping the rat-pack together. Don’t jeopardize the fab-five for a short, messy fling!
***
When you date outside your crew, you sidestep the drama of choosing sides post-breakup. Imagine group gatherings with an ex-lover present; it's a recipe for tension and discomfort. Spreading your romantic wings beyond your pals keeps the laughter flowing and the bonds strong. After all, keeping love and friendship in separate baskets can actually make both healthier. Plus, haven't we all seen enough sitcoms to know mixing the two can get as messy as a blender with no lid? Stick to the sibling vibes with your squad, and let Cupid's arrows fly elsewhere!
2. Low Chance of Running into Them Again if It Doesn’t Work out
Also an obvious but crucial factor to consider when thinking of reasons not to date within your circle of friends, is remembering the fact that you probably won’t run into them again when you break-up if you don’t already see them regularly. However if you do choose to date within your circle of friends, and it inevitably doesn’t end up working out, you could end up seeing your ex at school, your place of worship, work, and especially while out with your friends. Because think about it, your friends were always his/her friends too. Don’t take that heart-wrenching chance, and make the effort to date someone outside your usual group of people.
***
Additionally, imagine the awkwardness of mutual friends feeling obliged to take sides or navigate the post-breakup tension. This could lead to unwanted drama that ripples through your social group, potentially causing fractures among friends who previously enjoyed harmonious relations. Furthermore, you'll have to endure the discomfort of watching your ex-partner move on or show up to events with a new date. Keeping your love life separate from your friends can safeguard your social support system from these unnecessary complexities.
Frequently asked questions
3. Meet New People
There are billions upon billions of people in this world, so why limit yourself to the same five to ten people in your circle of friends? One of the many reasons not to date within your circle of friends includes the fact that you should naturally open yourself up to new people. When looking for someone to date and more importantly a partner, you want to be with someone who is like you, in that they agree with you on the big decisions in life. But you also want someone who challenges you, and may even have vastly differing interests from your own. That’s hard to find among friends, whom you usually bond with over similar interests and activities.
4. Develop Different Interests
By the same token that meeting new people is among the reasons not to date within your circle of friends, so is developing different interests. More likely than not, your friends are your friends because you get along and enjoy doing things together. Often those things include interests that everyone enjoys and can relate to. Say you all enjoy surfing, skiing and playing tennis or golf, so you all make it a point to do that together all the time. While it’s great when you find a partner who also loves doing those things, it’s even more exciting and fun when you meet someone who can introduce you to something new. Like maybe snowboarding or long distance running! The chances of that happening when you date within your circle of friends are usually less likely.
5. No Lost Friendships
The potential to lose a friend is something to remember when contemplating reasons not to date within your circle of friends. If you begin dating someone who is already a friend and it doesn’t work out, not only have you lost a lover and partner, but you’ve also lost a valuable friendship. Remember that before you decide to go out with someone whom you enjoy hanging out with in a group, whom you can count on, and whom you’ve already made so many fond memories with. All of those wonderful things can be lost if you enter into a relationship.
6. No Jealousy
The thing about dating within your circle of friends is that it’s a circle for a reason. Meaning there is a group of people who already know each other and enjoy spending time together. If you can’t think of any reasons not to date within your circle of friends, here’s one: you don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings in the friends group. Basically, you don’t know who else is already crushing on the guy or girl you are and it’s silly to let romance get in the way of the bonds of friendship, though too often it does. Don’t make that mistake and nip any chance of throwing off this delicate balance right in the bud.
7. A Chance to Make New Memories
A compilation of all these reasons not to date within your circle of friends, is considering the fact that dating someone outside your usual crew, allows you to make new memories. Starting something new is exciting, fun, and you get to start from scratch without any previous history whatsoever. That fact is underestimated all too often; a lot of times with friends you know exactly what you’re getting. You already know your friend’s favorite color, food, and movie. But with someone new, it’s the start of another special adventure and it allows you to maintain a healthier social life and keep things completely separate - as they should be.
Dating in general can end up being much more complicated than it needs to be. One of the best ways to uncomplicate things is by dating someone whom you wouldn’t normally see with your group of friends. Have you ever ended up losing your entire friends group after a messy break-up? Have you ever regretted dating within your circle of friends? Do you wish you were still friends instead of exes? Do tell!
Comments
Cleo: Sooo I need some help here. My boyfriend works with this one girl. They text/snapchat ALL the time and I don't know what to do. They go for lunch quite a bit, like just them two. She always talks about him to me as if they are the ones that are dating. It frustrates me. Should I confront her about it or him or what!?
killy: full romantic
Rosalin: you should confront her, but in a nice, firm manner, of course. tell her how you feel. Explain to her yhat you do not like the fact that she is always talking about your boyfirend as if sje is the one dating him. See, there is nothing wrong with her being friends with him, bit ahe needs to know that there are boundaries. He is obviously taken by you, and she can't get too close to him. I think that shoild help. if you decide to do this, let me know how it goes. Good luck!
Penni: Grew up in a small community and had the same group of friends since fourth grade. I could never imagine dating any of my guy friends. My best friend was a guy. But romantically, it would have been like dating my brother....too close. I valued the friendship way too much. Those type of feelings just were never there.
Denise: 100% disagree with this article. You should date and eventually marry your best friend and if it doesn't work, there should be an amicable maturity level not to fuck shit up amongst one another.
Johana: I'm currently dating my bestfriend. We had been bestfriends for a lil over two years. Even though we've been bestfriends for such a long time you'd think we know each other pretty well, and even though it's true, I know his favorite colors, there's more that I don't know about him, I mean we're both growing up, he's obviously not gona have the same interest, so it doesn't get boring . Plus even though we have the same group of friends but more than anything it used to always be him and I. We go to different schools now so if we do break up our groups of friends won't be splitting, and I hope we're mature enough to take it.
Rosalin: t* she should* (just correcting my typos, sorry about that).
Bmb: yup dont date wirhin ur circle of friends I just lost my bf because of dating him. wrecks ur friendship. men cant switch bavk to friends again i dont think.
:
Feedback Junction
Where Thoughts and Opinions Converge