All Women's Talk

Stop Running at the First Sign of Trouble ...

By Neecey

Running from trouble doesn’t solve the problem. It will run after you. It might not catch you every time but it works hard to try. Dealing with trouble means facing it down and finding a resolution or at least a solution that means it becomes an issue you can live with – one that doesn’t derail you. This is particularly important when it comes to your relationships.

Table of contents:

  1. Too many people run as soon as things get difficult
  2. It is only supposed to be good 30% of the time
  3. You are two people living two different lives
  4. Stop living with the illusion that life is supposed to be perfect
  5. Get out if he is abusive or cheats on you
  6. A good couple change each other and are willing to change for the other
  7. Stop the “will he, won’t she” game with regards to cheating

1 Too Many People Run as Soon as Things Get Difficult

Don’t be one of them. There are times when he is going to be unreasonable, and there are times when you may cause the problem without realizing it. Maybe talking it out is not something you can both do right away. Sometimes you both need a little time away from each other before you can talk. Nevertheless, do not get into the habit of running just because it is getting difficult. Be an adult about it and work through your issues.

2 It is Only Supposed to Be Good 30% of the Time

This is a bit of a culture shock for some women. Not so much for men, but they can be just as reactionary if they are the jealous type. In most long-term relationships it is good 30% of the time, bad 30% of the time, and neutral/boring the other 40% of the time. It is not a bad thing if you think about it. If it is only good 30% of the time, then you may appreciate each other more in the long run. It teaches you to treasure the good days so that it is worth working through the bad ones.

3 You Are Two People Living Two Different Lives

Lots of things are going to happen to you and him. Lots of things are going to affect and change you both. He is not going to tell you everything just like you aren’t going to tell him everything. You need to understand that all people have some level of misery in their lives, and many times it affects their relationship. No relationship is 100% transparent with regards to what is happening in each partner’s life. Sometimes the rocky and horrible days will come without warning, and it is because you are both living different lives, thinking different thoughts, and each have your share of sadness in your lives.

4 Stop Living with the Illusion That Life is Supposed to Be Perfect

The Cinderella story is not true. If it were true, they would have broken up within six months and she would have had half his castle by now. Part of the problem is that men and women go looking for the “one.” The trouble is that they think their life with the “one” should be a perfect love story and it never is. If you still think your fella is Prince Charming, you don’t know him that well. We all have a little Jekyll and Hyde in us.

5 Get out if He is Abusive or Cheats on You

Let’s make one thing perfectly clear. There is no excuse for mental or physical abuse, and there is no excuse for cheating. If he cheats, then he doesn’t love you. If you cheat, then part of you knows you do not really love him. If you truly love somebody, it is impossible for you to hurt him. Hurting the one you love should make you feel physically ill. There are times when you should break up, and cheating or abuse are perfect reasons to get out.

6 A Good Couple Change Each Other and Are Willing to Change for the Other

Good couples will change each other over time because they want the best for their partner. On the other hand, you need to remember that if you want somebody to change, then you need to be willing to change too.

7 Stop the “Will He, Won’t She” Game with Regards to Cheating

The habit of breaking up every time something goes wrong is a horrible state to find yourself in, especially if you are the one that keeps running. What is worse is when you think your partner is going to run off and cheat every time you both argue. Never give him any reason to think you are going to run back to your ex or another man just because you have broken up for a while or because you have had an argument. It is a really horrible situation to be in and isn’t worth the worry.

Life, love and relationships is not plain sailing. It’s how your steer the ship that matters. Success depends on how you weather the storms.

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