Breaking up with a partner is never a fun thing to do, even if the separation is done in a mature and amicable way. Once you have that part over and done with, there is another decision to be made if you are in that position and that is, should you stay friends with them or should you just make a clean break? There are definitely arguments for and arguments against! Here are some things you should know about staying friends with your ex.
Table of contents:
- cooling off period
- no sex
- solid boundaries
- consider new partner
- ask yourself why
1 Cooling off Period
The first thing you need to understand is that no matter what decision you make in the end, it is essential to have a cooling off period where you have no contact with each other. This period gives you the chance to see if you are happier without them in your life, or whether you truly miss their presence in a platonic sense outside of any romance.
2 No Sex
No matter what your body tries to tell you, under no circumstances should you be jumping back into bed with your ex in a ‘casual’ kind of way. Friends with benefits hardly ever works, and it prevents both of you from moving on and finding a more fulfilling kind of relationship.
3 Solid Boundaries
Before you allow your ex back into your life as a friendship, it is important to establish boundaries with one another. For example, maybe you don’t want to hang out with them one on one, just in group settings, or maybe you want to make the decision to skip the gatherings that they host at their house for fear of a ‘relapse’. You can make it work but you need to have clear rules in mind.
4 Consider New Partner
If you have a new love interest in your life, then you need to think about how having a friendship with your ex might affect them. Your ex is in the past, and your current boo is the present, so really you should be prioritising the present over the past.
5 Ask Yourself Why
You need to ask yourself WHY you are considering being friends with your ex. Do you have things in common that can maintain a real platonic relationship, or do you think that they still might have feelings for you, and are going around the ‘friendship’ in order to try to win you back? If it is the latter, then you are walking in to a sticky situation.
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