8 Tips for Forgetting the past ...

Hi. I too am currently moving on from someone so close to me. It is hard and you feel empty and nothing seems to help but what i know and tell myself is that if someone comes into your life and they touch your heart they will always be a part of you and wherever you are they are because they have made a mark in your life. If there is a challenge like having to move on it only makes you stronger if you face it with an open mind and open heart. I believe If you have gratitude and acceptance u will be able to move on. And if you don’t accept moving on then it is worse the pain will linger like a bad smell. What i like to do is deal with it on my own rather than talk to people but that’s just me everyone is different. It is important to remember that you are a unique person with plenty to offer to the world. When you are busy and you don't get the chance to really sit and think about what is happening in your personal life. This can be a blessing in disguise for a while at least. Ultimately you can never escape the healing process no matter how busy you are. I also believe every relationship comes into your life for a reason. It is also great to be single. Holding on can be painful and it doesn't make you smile. That is why we are supposed to say goodbye and let go. What you need to know and this is what i tell myself is that maybe some people just aren't meant to be in our lives forever. Some maybe passing through. It is like some people come into our lives to bring us a gift, a blessing, a lesson we need to learn and that’s why they are here. You will have that gift forever. MY TIPS FOR MOVING ON AND GETTING YOUR LIFE BACK ON TRACK: - Go to the beach, sit by the water, it will clear your head and give you a chance to reflect - Listen to music; your favourite songs even love songs no matter how hard it is to listen to them it will help. When i listen to music it is soothing and it helps me get through the experience of moving on - Take moving on day by day - Do distract yourself and do the things you like to do. Hobbies etc - Live in the moment and engage with every aspect of your life - Cry. Don’t bottle up the emotions. Letting out my emotions helps me in no way i could imagine, every day during this difficult process i cry even for 10-15 mins - Meditation or yoga really helps to. Well good luck and let me know how it goes 

My ex and I broke up yesterday and I cried so much. I still cried today in class too I just cried everything out I still need to cry. I cried today too because I had asked him in a note if he would take me back and I told him how I felt but he just told me I can't get what I want to I decided he is not worth my time. My friend told me to come to this website when she saw me crying.

What do you think I should do? It still hurts of course I just want to more on as soon as possible!

Well, keeping yourself busy and distracting yourself from your ex is one of many things you need to do, but not the only. You can't distract yourself to the point where you are not dealing with the issue - you don't want to leave anything unresolved and just try to forget... You have to deal. People can give you all of the greatest advice there is, like " If he was stupid enough to walk away, be wise enough to let him go!" for instance. I've had my fair share of very very bad break-ups where I suffered for a long long time, and none of the things people would tell me would comfort me. I knew I could find someone else, someone better, etc etc etc. The best advice that I can give to anyone who is going through a really tough time because of a break up is the following - do not be afraid to cry, A LOT... cry it out, let it all out, for as long as it takes. I cried every single night for 6-9 months, and not just during the night but during the day, at work, at random times and at inappropriate times... times where I had to go hide myself so that no one would see me crying. Let it out. Next, talk to someone - and not just to friends or family, talk to a PROFESSIONAL - someone who can give you positive feedback, someone who can guide you and help you come up with ways you can cope. Next, TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF, even when you don't want to. When your girlfriends call you to go out for a drink and you would rather stay on the couch, FORCE yourself to go out. Get a gym membership, WORK OUT- get in great shape. Take care of your hair, apply your make-up every morning... get new clothes and shoes. Get rid of all of the old things - pictures, etc. that remind of you that person. ALSO, most importantly, be your own bestfriend... And that is easier said than done. When I was going through what seemed like the end of my life at the time, I would tell myself that I would never be happy again, that I would never smile again, that I was too weak to ever get through this, that I will never find someone again... PLEASE start talking positively to yourself! Even if you don't believe it (and you probably won't for a long time), tell yourself that you CAN get through this, that there is a light at the end of the tunnel, that this WILL pass, that you WILL be happy again, that you WILL find happiness, and most importantly that YOU WILL CREATE THAT HAPPINESS. EMPOWER YOURSELF. And you do this by getting on the path to becoming a strong, independent, successful, person... on your own. Pick up new hobbies, get your career going, take care of your children, find new things to do with them, whatever else you can think of. For as long as you believe that the key to happiness is another person, you will beanything but happy.

its really simple for people to keep givin u long lists...none of this wks all i manage is cryin and makin a fool of myself by makin silly excuses to call him and make an ass of myself...i tried lettin him go but i just cant...got to no he engaged now in no time of breakin up with me and its drivin me insane.. i wanna feel better and i wanna move on i need a miracle....

i have nearly all of your tips but nothing seems to help. i can not find a way to let go of the past. he has moved on; did that before we sepearted. it has emotionally destoryed me and i cant get passed it. i go to counselling, psych dr, etc... nothing helps. i am scared right now. i have bipolar depression, been admitted to the hospital twice. i do not want to have that happen again. our divorce is not final; i dont know if that will even help. i just can move forward every day. any thoughts?

And really helpful.