Should you or shouldn’t you date your best friend? There’s no definitive yes or no answer – there are highly successful relationships that began from friendship, but there are also ones where the romance killed the friendship. It’s not an easy decision so here’s some help with some of the things to consider before you date your best friend.
Just think about it; who do you usually go to for guidance and comfort when you argue with your partner? Yep, that’s right, your best friend! If the person who usually consoles you is the very person you need the consolation from, then you might get stuck having to work through the fight on your own, leading to a more intense and drawn out argument.
It would be fair to say that most couples, no matter how in love they are, sometimes keep a little something back from their loved ones, the little insecurities that only their best friends know. Well, if you start dating this person that knows your deepest insecurities then they, whether they mean to or not, have the opportunity to use them against you should they ever feel the need.
Once you start dating your best friend, the effortless, innocent dynamic that you once shared together will be impossible to get back. As soon as you cross the line in to a romantic connection, this new set of emotions will always be the main atmosphere between the two of you, so have a good hard think about how much you love the best friend connection before you jump in at the romantic deep end.
There is a big difference between a best friend and a boyfriend. Whereas you may be able to pick and choose how much you share with a best friend, your boyfriend will experience the highs and lows of a real adult relationship with you. Do you think that you would be able feel comfortable letting your ex-best friend, now boyfriend in on your vulnerable side, having no secrets and possibly even contradicting things you may have told them previously? It’s definitely something to consider.
Love by its very nature is a selfish thing, but by starting to date your best friend it might be a good idea to think about whether your new relationship is going to affect the dynamic of your wider friendship group. If up until now you and your new partner had been part of a best friend trio, then there is going to one hell of a third wheel in the new dynamic. Think about how your new romantic choice might affect your friends and whether it is truly worth the changes.
Sometimes you need to spend some time apart from your loved one and engage in activities with your friends, often just a best friend. But if your new boy/girlfriend is that person that you used to do these things with, who will be there to go out with you now? Of course, you have more than one good friend, but think about how much fun you used to have in the old dynamic and see if you can imagine the same level of fun with another friend.
Consider this, how many of your exes are you still good friends with today? Breakups can be extremely messy even if the relationship was great to begin with, and your breakup could be made even messier by the fact that not only are you losing a lover, but you are also losing one of your greatest friends. That’s a lot of loss to handle all at once; make sure you can take it before decide!
No one can decide this issue for you – you need to think clearly and think ahead, and have a little bit of hope too.
Have you ever dated your best friend? How did it work out? Please share your stories.