All Women's Talk

7 Things to Keep in Mind when Contemplating a Break up ...

By Lisa

If you’ve been thinking about ending your relationship, let me provide you with some things to keep in mind when contemplating a break up. Yes, breaking up is hard to do and it can be even harder if you’re undecided on what to do and what might happen as a result. Even though each relationship is unique, check out some of these things to keep in mind when contemplating a break up before you take any action.

1 It’s Going to Be Hard

Of course one of the top things to keep in mind when contemplating a break up is that it’s going to be difficult. While we might all know this, I mention this because your reaction might be totally different than you imagine. Even if you feel like you’re no longer emotionally invested and have already moved on, whenever we break up with someone, we tend to concentrate on all the good times and good qualities of that person. Because of this, the post break-up time might be more difficult than you imagine, so allow yourself time to adjust and heal. Don’t put any expectations on yourself during this time and give yourself time and space.

2 How to

If you’re contemplating a break up, be sure to think about how you’re going to do it. Avoid doing things in the heat of the moment and plan to have a calm talk about it. Don’t use a post-it, text message or email to break things off, this will only make it more difficult for the other person and make them even more upset. Think things out before you have the talk.

3 Is This Just a Phase?

All relationships go through ups and downs. So it’s a legitimate question to ask yourself whether you’re thinking about a break up because you’re ready to move on or if it’s just a turning point in the relationship. All relationships can’t be exciting and euphoric the entire time. They mature and grow, so things might get calmer but that doesn’t mean the love is gone or that it’s time to move on. Living the single life is great, but if you’re just craving more excitement, breaking up might not be the answer.

4 Sex with an Ex…

When you’re thinking about a break up, one of the things you want to be clear about is post break up sex. The problem with it is, while it might seem like unattached fun with someone you know well, one person can get emotionally reattached. You know yourself and your ex well enough to know if this is something either of you can handle. Then again, there’s also absolutely nothing wrong with cutting off sexual ties and moving on, either!

5 Dividing Friends

If you’ve been with your significant other for awhile or met through mutual friends, chances are you share friends. In some situations, it’s just not feasible to share all of your mutual friends, therefore the dividing of the friends must happen. It’s no doubt an uncomfortable situation for all parties involved, but you might end up having to accept that some friends will decide to part ways with you or the both of you.

6 Dividing Belongings

Another point to consider when you’re thinking about a break up is the splitting of furniture and other belongings. Assuming you’re not married, the two of you can make a list of the things you own together, determine the value and who the logical owner is. This might get complicated, but if you two shared a lot of furniture, electronics and housewares, it might have to be done. You can always just opt to give your things away in hopes of avoiding this awkward situation, but if your Vitamix means that much to you, then by golly fight for it! If the two of you live together, you’ll also have to decide who is going to stay or leave.

7 Moving on

When you’re contemplating a break up, remember that moving on will take some time and adjusting. If the two of you lived or worked together, things might be awkward for awhile, but it will get better. No matter how hard it is, remind yourself that you two didn’t work out for a reason and that you will find love again.

Breaking up is never easy, but hopefully this list gave you some things to think about before you make the move. If you’re in any type of abusive relationship, don’t allow personal items to get in the way of breaking things off. Your safety and well-being are much more important than any piece of furniture. Do you have any words of advice for those who are contemplating a break up?

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