Finding ways to get him to listen instead of trying to fix your problems is something that most women would love to do. Guys are fixers. When they see the girl they care about struggling with a problem, their immediate reaction is to tell her how to fix it. These are some ways to get him to listen instead.
You cannot expect your guy to know what you need if you don’t tell him. One of the best ways to get him to listen is to tell him that is what you need. Tell him you don’t want him to offer you solutions and that all you really want is a listening ear. It can help to explain that you realize it goes against his nature but it truly is what girls need. He will get better at this with practice.
It can be good to tell your guy that you will let him know if you want suggestions. My husband is pretty clear on the fact that I will ask him if I want suggestions and advice. He knows if I don’t ask, I probably don’t want his input. There are a lot of times I do ask for his advice because he has a lot to offer. Make sure your guy gets the fact that unless you ask, you probably just want him to listen can be very helpful.
Here is the deal, ladies. We love our guys but they are not girls. He is not going to take as much pleasure in listening and conversing about anything you are going through as a close girlfriend will. So spare him a lot of that. Talk to a girlfriend first who will love every little detail and then give your guy the highlights if you still want or need to talk.
You think this is obvious but the truth is that you don’t really realize how different you are. I know that I have forgotten how differently men’s mind’s work at times. And neither one is wrong; they are just different. It can be helpful to have a conversation about how different you are. You can also discuss the difference in how you like to approach problems in your life to understand one another better.
Men like to offer solutions because they care. They truly have a desire to help. So take him up on that. Ask him for his help sometimes. This will let him show you he cares and will also let him know you will ask when you need assistance.
This is funny but it really works. Tell him to please hold his comments until the end of your story. This will keep him from jumping in ready to solve your issue when you haven’t even fully explained it yet. This lets you do all the talking you wish and lets him feel helpful. It’s a win-win for both of you.
This doesn’t fix the problem but it does bypass it. I have learned that there are just some things guys cannot empathize with you about. They don’t get that you are only upset because you are feeling hormonal. They will never understand the power a bad hair day has to ruin your day. For those things, go to your girlfriends, sisters and moms. They will understand you.
Men and women certainly approach many things differently and this is one of those things. I would love to hear how you have handled this in your relationships. What tips can you share on this subject?
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