There’re many good reasons not to compare relationships. Nothing good ever comes of comparing your relationship to someone else’s. It’s better to acknowledge that each relationship is unique and has its strengths and weaknesses. These are some specific reasons not to compare relationships.
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1. You Aren’t Seeing the Full Picture
One of the most important reasons not to compare relationships is that you aren’t seeing the full picture. When you compare your relationship to that of others, you’re only seeing them at their best. You aren’t getting a realistic picture. You can only see a small fraction of their relationship. Every couple has their ugly moments and things they need to work on.
2. You Start Focusing on the Negative
Comparing your relationship to others is an easy trap to fall into. However, it’s something you should try to guard against. Once you begin comparing relationships, you’ll probably start focusing on the negative in yours. It’s easy to forget all of the great things about your partner if someone else’s partner seems better. The only time comparing relationships is a good idea is if someone else’s relationship reminds you what a great guy you have.
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3. It’ll Bring You down
Comparing relationships can bring you down. Actually, comparing many things can bring you down. That stands true for comparing relationships, possessions, someone else’s figure and many other things. Theodore Roosevelt said that comparison is the thief of joy and that’s a very true statement. You rob yourself of a lot of joy when you start comparing. It’s always best to try to keep your thoughts on only your relationship.
4. You Forget That Everyone Has Faults
If you start noticing how great your best friend’s boyfriend is, you may start thinking he’s really close to perfect. It’s easy to think that not everyone has faults but they do. There’s no perfect person. In light of that, you want to look for someone who has values you appreciate and treats you well. Everyone has different traits they’re looking for in a partner but it’s important to remember no one is without faults.
5. You Miss out
You can get so wrapped up in comparing relationships that you miss out on the awesome things about your own. You can get too focused on what you don’t have. This means you’re missing out on all the wonderful things you do have. Choose to focus on all the great things about your relationship. Realize that each relationship is unique, just like every person is unique.
6. It Isn’t Fair
Comparing your relationship isn’t fair to you or your partner. Realize that your partner probably has some great traits that your friends would love for their boyfriends to have. It’s much better to put your energy into appreciating the great things about your guy. Sometimes it’s even good to make a list of those things so you can reread it whenever you want. Don’t be surprised if this makes you feel butterflies for your guy all over again.
7. They May Be Envying You
It’s important to remember that relationships appear differently to others, including your own. Your friends could be envying your relationship. This can be an eye-opening. You know your relationship isn’t perfect but others may not see that. On the flip side, if you’re comparing your relationship to others and feeling a bit of envy, remember you aren’t seeing the full picture either. This can help you keep a balanced view.
Have you fallen into the trap of comparing your relationship before? What helped you with this? Share your stories here.
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