Asking out a guy can be pretty daunting, especially if you have been rejected before. But as guest contributor Meenakshi says, there could be many reasons why he probably said no...none of which directly involve you. So don't be afraid to put yourself out there and don't take rejection personally.
So recently a friend of mine asked the guy she really likes out on a date. Unfortunately he said no. It is something that all girls dread when asking out the love of their life. Everyone is scared of rejection. It's one of the most embarrassing things that a girl or a guy has to go through. But girls, it may be not you. There are so many reasons why a guy says no and most of them have nothing to do with you. Here are some reasons why he probably said no.
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1. Doesn't Know You
You may know him really well and know every detail about him but that may not be the same for him. You may have had a class with him in sixth grade but he just doesn't remember you. Or maybe your friend was the one that pointed him out to you rather that you knowing him personally. Either way, people would rather go out with someone they know. So don't take it personally. Take advantage of this! Make an impression, a new and better one. Get to know him. Then just see how he comes running back.
2. The Way You Said It
It could be the way that you asked him that got him to say no. "How could that happen?". Here let me explain. I remember when my friend finally had the guts to ask the guy she likes, she ended up getting so nervous that she told him that it was a dare that her friends told her to do. What kind of guy would say yes to that? I know I wouldn't. Maybe he wanted to say yes but didn't like the way you asked. There's a glimmer of hope! Practice asking him out in front of the mirror or with a friend so there will be no mistake when you actually go up to him and ask the big question.
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Communication is crucial, and first impressions count. If your nerves got the better of you and your approach seemed insincere or underconfident, that could definitely impact his response. Remember, confidence is attractive, and nerves can make things awkward. Consider the tone of your voice, your body language, and eye contact — these non-verbal cues are as important as your words. So next time, take a deep breath, look him squarely in the eye, and let your genuine interest shine through. With a calm and collected demeanor, you're more likely to elicit the reaction you're hoping for!
Frequently asked questions
There could be many reasons. Maybe he's not ready for a relationship, or he's interested in someone else. It doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you. Sometimes the timing just isn't right.
It's best to give him some space. If he said he'll let you know, trust that he will. Reaching out too soon might come off as too pushy.
If he said no to giving his number, it might mean he prefers to keep things casual or he's not ready to take that step. Respect his boundaries and give it some time.
It's completely normal to feel hurt or disappointed. Allow yourself to feel those emotions and talk to friends or loved ones for support. Remember, rejection is part of life and doesn't define your worth.
Not necessarily. Sometimes 'no' means 'not right now.' People's feelings and circumstances can change over time. However, it's important not to wait around indefinitely. Focus on living your life and if it's meant to be, it'll happen.
3. Interested in Someone else
When the person you like is interested in someone else, it is kind of heart breaking. But if you think about it, it doesn't necessarily mean that he doesn't like you. It's like when you like one guy, you don't hate other guys. You just prefer that single person. So don't take it personally. Like they say, if your love wants to go, let it free. If they return then they're yours, if not they were never yours in the first place. Just like you, they can't control who they like. Like I said, he just doesn't see you that way. Don't feel rejected.
4. Awkward Position
Getting asked out or asking someone out is somewhat of an intimate and cute moment. There are so many ways to make that moment awkward though. For example, asking in front of his friends: awkward. It is kind of uncomfortable to be put on the spot. But then again, another glimmer of hope! If the scenario wasn't so awkward, he probably would have said yes. Who knows? The next time you ask him or anyone else, plan out the moment as opposed to winging it.
5. Masculine Embarrassment
This one kind of sounds a little dweeby and insecure for a guy but it does happen. Guys want to be able to impress a girl with their ability to woo a girl and ask her out. The male mentality works in weird ways. But hey, we have our weird ways too. Now, I know what your thinking. "How am I supposed to talk to the guys I like?". Here's a trick that I learned pretty recently. Go up to him and ask him a general, widespread question, like if you're in a book store ask him if he knows where a certain book is or pretend you're having trouble picking something up and let him be the man and do it for you (that will really get you somewhere!). But don't be creepy about it( like randomly, out-of-the-blue, asking him for the time: personal experience). Just act normal like you're not trying to pull off anything and he'll be tricked into thinking he made the first move.
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Many guys feel the pressure to be the alpha, the initiator, or the classic knight in shining armor. It's a bit old-fashioned sure, but it's still deeply embedded in many cultures. If you take the initiative, it throws off this dynamic and can cause discomfort. Remember, vulnerability isn't a familiar trait in men's world. Make your approach friendly and casual. Something as simple as asking for his opinion on a current event or complimenting his choice of coffee can ease into a conversation without the neon sign that says "I'm hitting on you." Keep it light, let him feel he's leading, and before you know it, an accidental date might just be on the horizon.
6. Not Looking for a Relationship
There are people who are not ready for a relationship. That person you asked may be one of them. So in a way, they kind of saved you. You wouldn't want to be in a relationship where you had to do all the work because the relationship isn't something they wanted. At least they can be honest! Be respectful towards that because they are doing the right thing by giving you a legitimate reason. When a guy tells me that they are not ready for a relationship, my respect for them increases because that gives me the idea that they know exactly what they want.
7. Anti-Social
Not everyone can go up to a person and have a conversation. It's not easy when the person you like isn't very out going because it makes it hard to actually get to know them. It is a hard job BUT not impossible. Start slow. Start with little waves when you guys meet eyes, then go to small hi's and hello's. Go easy on them, they are people who take their time to mesh with people. At least this way you will get to know him too. There is nothing wrong with taking a little time to get to know someone.
Whether he said yes or no, you all should be proud if you have gone up to a guy and asked him out. It takes a lot of effort to get out of your comfort zone. I have guy friends that say that they respect girls and sometimes willingly go out with girls who are confident enough to make the first move. Let's throw away those books that your mom and grandma gave you about talking to guys. Go up to them! Laugh, smile, be confident because if you want something you go after it. And even if he does reject you, be proud that you were able to do the thing that most girls fear the most.
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why do we women always have to adjust to men to like us? it should be their problem to make the effort first and woo us
Anti social is another term for an individual who is sociopathic. They are actually outgoing and charming in most cases but they lack the respect for authority and have little or no regard for peoples emotions and feelings. But yeah anyway wrong use of the term anti social. I would use shy or withdrawn instead. ;)
And of course the real #1 reason: "He's just not that into you!"
#goldenkey
Anti-social doesn't mean your shy or aren't outgoing it means you have little regard for other people's feelings. Look it up! I have a psychology degree, and this is a very common misuse of this word.
You forgot to put that the guy you like might be gay. had that happen to my sister before when she asked a guy out at work.
I was just like 'oi! What you doing on Wednesday' lol and we've been together for a year now :) the wuss wasn't gonna do it haha sometimes we've just gotta go for it :')
Comments
Alyanna:why do we women always have to adjust to men to like us? it should be their problem to make the effort first and woo us
Melinda:Anti social is another term for an individual who is sociopathic. They are actually outgoing and charming in most cases but they lack the respect for authority and have little or no regard for peoples emotions and feelings. But yeah anyway wrong use of the term anti social. I would use shy or withdrawn instead. ;)
Adriana:And of course the real #1 reason: "He's just not that into you!"
Scottie:#goldenkey
Chelsea:Anti-social doesn't mean your shy or aren't outgoing it means you have little regard for other people's feelings. Look it up! I have a psychology degree, and this is a very common misuse of this word.
Sarah:You forgot to put that the guy you like might be gay. had that happen to my sister before when she asked a guy out at work.
Stephanie:I was just like 'oi! What you doing on Wednesday' lol and we've been together for a year now :) the wuss wasn't gonna do it haha sometimes we've just gotta go for it :')
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