8 Things No One Tells You about Marriage ...

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At twenty-something you believe you know everything, and you just might – except all the things no one tells you about marriage.

I was 23 when I jumped the broom and 27 when the dust settled after an unexpected divorce.

Needless to say, I learned good lessons during married life, many of which I wish I'd known going in.

If you're marriage-minded, here are eight things no one tells you about marriage that will help you prepare for the journey.

1. For Better is Real, and for Worse is Real, Too

Once you've tied the knot, there will be days when you can't get enough of Mr.

Right.

There will also be days when you wish he would forget his way home.

One of the things no one tells you about marriage is that this feeling is normal.

Relationships ebb and flow and when you spend 24/7 with another human being, you'll inevitably experience a combination of really blissful moments and other times your mate will try your very last frayed nerve.

You will want to run away, but ultimately you will remember love is enduring and you will endure.

2. He Snores, Farts and Poops. so do You

Gone are the days of hiding the normal functions of the human body for the sake of being lady-like.

He will snore.

You will snore.

He will fart loudly regardless of who is present.2

You will silently toot in his presence.

He will walk in on you despite your best efforts to poop in private and he will whiff a scent other than your sweet perfume.

And it's all good.

While humiliating at first, this too shall pass and will become old hat in your marriage.

3. The Drought Cometh

Sex every night is a myth and a farce.

Although it sounds good and may start off that way, daily bumping and grinding is unrealistic and unsustainable.

There.

I said it.

Even the most successful marriages pumped up on extra strength Viagra have sexual dry spells.

Save yourself some performance anxiety by understanding that kissing and cuddling may be enough some nights.

It Ain't All Roses
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