Being in a relationship with someone who's mean with money can be frustrating, and at times miserable. Certainly it pays to be smart with money, but some people take that too far. What can you do if your boyfriend never gets his wallet out or resents spending any money? Here are some ways to deal with someone who is mean with money …
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1. Explore Why
Firstly you should look into the reasons why he is mean with money. His background may explain why he is scared of spending. Perhaps his family had debt problems or his previous partner exploited him financially. Mean people may be that way because they fear ending up in a financial mess, which leads them to the opposite extreme. Unfortunately that makes both them and their partner miserable.
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It is important to understand that being mean with money is not limited to one gender. Both men and women can be mean with money for a variety of reasons. It can be due to a fear of spending, a lack of financial literacy, or a desire to maintain control. It is also possible that the meanness is driven by past experiences, such as a partner who was financially irresponsible or a family that had debt problems. Understanding the underlying causes of the meanness can help both partners address the issue in a constructive way.
2. Security Blanket
If your partner is mean because he's worried about being broke, then one way of dealing with it is to set aside a financial security blanket for you both. This can reassure him that you will have a cushion in case of emergencies. Your partner may then feel happier about spending money on 'frivolous' things. Put the money in an account that you can't easily access, and agree what it is to be used for.
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One way to help your partner feel more secure financially is to set aside a financial security blanket for both of you. This can give him assurance that you will have a cushion in the event of an emergency. You can set up a separate account that is difficult to access and decide together what it should be used for. This can help him feel better about spending money on things that may seem unnecessary. Additionally, it is important to talk to your partner about money and make sure that you both are on the same page when it comes to budgeting and spending.
Frequently asked questions
Dealing with someone who is stingy or controlling with money can be really tough. It's best to have an open conversation about how it makes you feel. Set boundaries and be clear about your expectations.
People who brag about their money often do it to feel more important. Tune out the bragging and don't let it affect your self-worth. You might even try changing the subject or gently pointing out that you’re more interested in other topics.
It's important to be honest and straightforward. You can simply say that you are not in a position to lend money at the moment. You don’t owe anyone an explanation beyond that.
Being indifferent to money means that someone doesn’t really focus on or care much about finances. They might prioritize other aspects of life over financial gain.
Start by setting firm boundaries. It’s okay to say no if someone is constantly taking advantage of your generosity. Encourage them to become more self-reliant and responsible.
3. Firmness & Fairness
Be firm when it comes to money. Don't cover all the bills because he's unwilling to spend, or end up paying for things to avoid problems. This is enabling his meanness, especially if his meanness extends to wanting to keep all his money for himself. Insist that he pays his fair share of bills and nights out. If he won't pay his share of living costs, then do you really want to be with this man?
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When dealing with someone who is mean with money, it's important to maintain firmness and fairness. Don't let the meanness extend to covering all the bills or paying for things to avoid problems. Insist that he pays his share of bills, whether it's for living costs or nights out. If he continues to be unwilling to spend, it's important to think about whether this is the kind of person you want to be with. It's important to remember that money issues can be a sign of deeper problems, so it's important to discuss the issue openly and honestly.
4. Don't Cover for Him
Some people cover for their partner's meanness because they are mortified at the thought of others finding out. You shouldn't hide your partner's mean behavior - it's not your responsibility. Perhaps being embarrassed in public will make him realise how unreasonable he's being.
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It's important to remember that you shouldn't cover up for your partner's mean behavior when it comes to money. Not only is it not your responsibility to do so, but it's also possible that being embarrassed in public may help them realize how unreasonable they are being. If your partner is being mean with money, there are other ways to deal with it. These include having a serious conversation about money, setting boundaries, and even considering therapy. Remember that you are not alone and that there are resources available to help you cope with this situation.
5. Enjoy Yourself
If your partner pays his fair share of the bills, but doesn't want to spend money on luxuries like evenings out, don't be put off doing what you want to do. As long as you're also paying your share, then you can do what you like with the rest of your money. Go out with your friends and enjoy yourself. There's no reason why you should sit at home doing nothing!
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It's important to remember that you don't have to give up your own financial freedom just because your partner is not willing to spend money on luxuries. You can still enjoy yourself and have fun without breaking the bank. Try to find activities that don't cost a lot of money, such as going for a walk or having a picnic. You can also look for free events in your local area, like art galleries, music festivals, and outdoor movie screenings. With a little creativity, you can have a great time without spending a lot of money.
6. Play His Game
Playing someone at their own game can make someone realise what they're like. So you could try following his example. This might force him to realise just how mean he's being. If he counts every cent that he spends, and insists on splitting bills exactly down the middle, do the same. Then if he makes any critical comments, you can point out that you learned from him!
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Playing someone at their own game can be an effective way to show them the consequences of their behaviour. In this case, if someone is being mean with money, try mirroring their behaviour. Make sure to be consistent and don’t take any of their comments too seriously. This may help them realise how their behaviour affects others and make them more aware of their actions. Additionally, it could also lead to a more open conversation about money and how it should be managed in the relationship. Ultimately, this could help create a healthier financial dynamic between the two of you.
7. Think Carefully before Committing
Ultimately you may have to make the choice as to whether you want to be with someone who behaves like your partner, or whether you should move on. Life with a financial extremist can be very uncomfortable. People are often unwilling to change, so how he is now may indicate that the pattern is set for the future.
Although it makes sense to look after your money, some people go too far. Life should be enjoyed, and you can't take it with you. Find a balance between being mean and being extravagant. Have you ever had a mean boyfriend, and what was the worst thing he did?
Comments
Gucciqueen: If you can't be the provider that is your role & I can't live the glam life I want to live its just not gonna work out
eamezey: My husband is perfect bar money he's mean . He owes loads to credit cards from the past. I've tried to step in it doesn't work. He's secretive about money. It hurts
Yolanda: love this article Iblive with a cheapskate don\'t know our future
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