He was supposed to be by your side til death parted the two of you, but lately you wonder if you are spotting signs your husband wants a divorce. Sometimes signs are merely red flags that there are serious issues that need to be addressed, and sometimes they indicate that your husband is ready to leave you. If you recognize the following signs your husband wants a divorce, it's time to have a long heartfelt talk with him to sort things out.
1. Ignoring Problems
The two of you may be fighting a lot lately or perhaps avoiding conflict altogether. One of the warning signs your husband wants a divorce is when he isn't interested in discussing issues that are affecting your marriage. If he’s given up on the relationship, he may feel it's pointless to argue with you. He isn't interested in solving marital problems because he is doesn't see himself in the relationship much longer.
2. He is Always Busy
Your husband is constantly busy with new activities or he spends extra hours at work. He avoids being home as much as possible to evade any interaction with you. If he doesn't think the relationship is fun and enjoyable anymore, he’s going to spend all his time with other people and not invite you. Most of the time you have no idea what he is up to.
3. Changing His Physical Appearance
He is trying to enhance his physical appearance in preparation for his new single life. Since he sees himself going back on the market, he figures he better start looking good. You might see dramatic changes in hairstyle, hair color and wardrobe. He might also head to the gym to get in shape.
4. He’s Lost Those Loving Feelings
Think back to happier times in your marriage. You felt loved and secure in your marriage because of your husband’s words and actions. When your husband is thinking of divorce, you will feel the complete opposite of that. You may feel like your husband doesn't even like you anymore, much less love you. Your husband feels cold and distant instead of the loving partner he once was.
5. No Action in the Bedroom
A marriage on the rocks has a major lack of intimacy. So the two of you may not be physically affectionate or intimate anymore. If you do sleep together, you don’t feel emotionally connected but more like you are being used. He might also start sleeping on the couch
6. He Doesn't Want to Spend Time Together
When you try to initiate date nights with your hubby, he isn't interested. He will give you a variety of excuses why he can’t spend time with you. And while he doesn't have a minute to spare for you, he has plenty of time for other people. You end up feeling unwanted and rejected as he keeps turning down your invitations.
7. New Circle of Friends
Married couples usually have a shared circle of friends that they hang out with. But your husband doesn't want to spend time with them anymore since he has acquired a brand new circle of friends. Even more worrisome is that they are enjoying the single life and keeping your husband out late at night.
8. He's a Workaholic
He might be striving to get a promotion, but he might be dying to get out of the house. It he’s always at work, he might prefer associating with his coworkers than seeing you. There’s also the chance that he’s lying about where he’s going. If he’s suddenly spending hours more at the office, try to figure out why that is.
9. Nasty Comments
If you’re constantly fighting, there’s bound to be some harsh words said. However, a marriage is meant to be joyful. If he’s causing you more pain than pleasure, why are you still together? If he’s always insulting you, and never apologizing, then it’s a clear sign that he’d be happier elsewhere. Plus, you should never settle for someone that treats you poorly.
10. Bad Habits Emerge
If he’s suddenly started drinking or smoking more than usual, there must be a reason. Your relationship could be causing him stress, and he’s dealing with it in a dangerous way. If you notice bad habits emerging, try to figure out the source.
11. He Doesn’t Contribute
Does he help you out around the house? If he doesn’t bother to do the laundry or dishes, he’s starting to care less and less. He should be willing to help you complete household chores, so that you’re not stuck doing all of the work. If he cared, he’d try to help out every once in a while, even if his contribution is small.
12. He's Never Home
Do you know where he goes when he’s not in the house? If he’s always out, but never bothers to tell you where he went, then he’s not communicating with you properly. A marriage is about trust, yes, but it’s also about honesty. If he’s pushing you away, your relationship is crumbling.
13. Hidden Phone
If he doesn’t let you touch his phone, there must be a reason. He could be sending his friends mean messages about you. He could have other women’s numbers in his contacts. He shouldn’t have anything to hide from you, because you’re the one person that he should be able to share anything with.
14. He Won’t Compromise
When you fight, are you able to come to a compromise? If he’s not willing to budge, then it shows that he won’t take your needs into consideration. If one of you is always on the losing side of the battle, it’s not much of a fight. If you want a healthy relationship, you need to be able to figure things out in a way that will make both of you happy.
15. No Smiles
Does he still look at you the way he did when you first met? Things are bound to change over the years, but the magic should never fade. When you’re in love, the other person makes life worth living. If you no longer make him smile, then your time might be up.
Now you have some idea of things to look for when your relationship is in grave trouble. If you recognize these signs It’s up to you and your spouse to determine if you want to rekindle the love between you or walk away forever. Ladies, how did you know your husband wanted a divorce?
This article was written in collaboration with editor Holly Riordan.
Frequently Asked Questions
- What are some signs that my husband wants a divorce?
- Oh, that's a tough one. Some signs could be him being distant, avoiding conversations about the future, or he might even start acting different around family events. If he seems more interested in being away from home, that's another sign he might be considering divorce.
- Should I be worried if my husband suddenly says he wants a divorce?
- Absolutely, it's a big deal if he says it out loud. Sometimes it’s a cry for help, other times it might mean he’s been thinking about it for a while. It’s worth sitting down and having an honest talk with him to see where his head is at.
- What can I do if my husband wants to leave?
- First, take a deep breath. This can be overwhelming. Try having an open and honest conversation about why he feels this way. Sometimes talking it out can help you both understand each other better, but also consider seeking counseling if things are difficult to navigate alone.
- Can a relationship be saved if my husband says he wants a divorce?
- It can be, but it requires effort from both sides. If both of you are willing to put in the work and communicate openly, there’s hope. Bringing in a therapist or counselor can also really help with finding common ground.
- Why do relationships change after having a baby?
- Bringing a baby into the picture is a huge life change and can shift the dynamics of any relationship. Your priorities, time, and focus change, and sometimes that can cause stress. It’s normal to feel different pressures, but staying connected through communication can help.