One of the very best things you can do for your relationship is to keep your relationship problems quiet. It is not wise to share what is going on between the two of you. One of the best decisions you can make for your relationship is to realize that your relationship is a private affair. When you make the decision to keep your relationship problems quiet then you will reap many benefits. Let’s talk about some of the best reasons for doing this.
The very first reason to keep your relationship problems quiet is because a relationship is made of two. If a person is not in the relationship, they do not need to know what is going on with the relationship. It does not include or pertain to them. It is a mistake to bring others in by trying to get them to see your side about things that they don’t even have any need to know. While it is acceptable to have maybe one person of really wise counsel that you talk to, you should not be sharing things about your relationship problems with everyone you see.
Going hand in hand with number one is this fact. What goes on between the two of you really isn’t anyone else’s business. Telling them things about your relationship problems makes them feel involved and they really aren’t. Additionally, most likely you are going to forgive your partner for any infraction against you, but the person that you have vented to may not. This is especially true if it is a family member of yours because they love and care about you so they are naturally protective.
I don’t know about you, but I want others to think of my husband and I as a happy and devoted couple, and we truly are. But when you choose to tell others about problems you may be having, you are painting a very different picture for them. They see your relationship as struggling. They don’t have the advantage of seeing you make up and work through issues, so they hold that negative picture in mind. It may even come out in the way they treat one or the other of you.
Here is the truth. When we care about someone, we don’t want to see them hurt. If they come to us and share that they have been hurt by their partner, we are going to naturally feel upset with that person and likely hold at least a small grudge. The same is true when it is us going to someone that cares about us with a relationship problem. They are going to be hurt that we are hurt and hold that against our partner, at least to some degree. It is much wiser to keep mum.
Sharing your relationship problems is showing the weak areas of your relationship. If you are sharing with someone who does not respect your relationship and could even perhaps be wanting an opening to being with your partner themselves, this tells them this is the time to strike. While a true friend would never do this, there are many that would because they aren’t true friends. Unfortunately, you may not know this until it is too late and you find out the hard way. Don’t expose the weak areas of your relationship to others.
Sometimes, the more you talk about what is going on in your relationship, the more it grows. You could leave home slightly irritated with your partner and by the time you get finished bashing it over with your girlfriends, you are completely angry and spoiling for a fight. They may encourage you to fuss and argue over it rather than thinking of the good of your relationship. This is not wise. Talking to others about things going on in your relationship can actually make it grow in your mind.
There is something very precious about working out a problem between the two of you and knowing that no one else in the world knows it even occurred. They don’t know that you had a weak moment and only see you as the strong couple you choose to present yourselves as. This is wise and actually makes you a closer couple. Going through little things makes your relationship stronger. Give it a try next time you have an argument and see if you don’t feel stronger afterward, knowing that the only people that knew were you and your partner.
Everyone who is in a relationship has relationship problems of some sort at some time. That is just the way it is. Do you see the wisdom in keeping your relationship problems quiet?