How to Come Back Mentally after Being Cheated on ...

By Alison • Jun 3, 2015

Being cheated on is devastating, and can leave you wondering if you'll ever be able to trust anyone again. It hits at your self-esteem, and makes you wonder why you weren't enough for them. But you do survive, and even come back stronger - I can confirm that from my own experience. So here's how you come back mentally after being cheated on …

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1. You Need Time

Be kind to yourself and take the time to heal from the painful experience you're going through.. Don't rush into a rebound relationship to prove to yourself that you're still desirable. Being cheated on hurts - a LOT - and there's a temptation to show your cheating ex that you can find someone else too. But you need to wait until the time is right to date again.

2. It's Not about You

Don't blame yourself for your partner cheating. You're not responsible for their behavior. It isn't a sign that there's something wrong with you, or that you let them down somehow. He may even try to justify his behavior by convincing you that it's somehow your fault. Don't buy it for a minute; he's the only one who's responsible.

3. He Might Have Done You a Favor

As hard as it seems to believe right now, your ex (assuming you've shown him the door) may have done you a favor. He's shown you that he can't be trusted, and that he doesn't value you enough to be loyal to you. It's better that you find that out now rather than when you're deeper into the relationship, with kids and legal commitments …

4. You'll Look Back, and Wonder What You Saw in Him

Right now, your heart is broken. But you'll come to the stage when you look back and wonder what on earth you saw in him. So remind yourself that you will get past this painful stage and that you will get over him. It's guaranteed to happen, so look forward to that time.

If you're looking to engage your partner in intriguing conversations, why not try some hypothetical questions for couples? These fun queries will not only keep the conversation lively but also stimulate deep thoughts and potentially reveal insights about each other's personality and thought processes.

5. You'll Be a Stronger Person

You'll end up a stronger person away from your cheating ex. Really, you will. I've absolutely thrived away from my ex, and I bet I'm happier than he is (and the woman he cheated with). I didn't imagine that happening, but being cheated on has strengthened my character and determination not to put up with that again for one moment.

6. Get Rid of Things That Remind You of Him

It's so cathartic to throw out anything that reminds you of your cheating ex (if it's valuable, you could always sell it!). But however tempted you are to get your revenge, don't destroy things that belong to him; instead, drop them off at his house so that they're out of your sight.

7. If You Decide to Stay …

Of course, being cheated on doesn't always mean the end of the relationship. Personally I wouldn't trust a guy who'd cheated; for me, it's one strike and you're out. But if you decide to work on rebuilding your relationship together, be sure that your partner is genuinely sorry about what he did. Otherwise the chances are high that he'll go on to cheat again. If he got away with it once, why wouldn't he do so again?

There is life after being cheated on, I promise you, and it's an even better one if you have the courage to move on. And remember that you are 100% not responsible for what he did. Do you think that cheating doesn't have to mean the end of a relationship?

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Where Thoughts and Opinions Converge

  • Gemini12

    2015-06-03T15:16:08.816Z

    Everyone makes mistakes! I would look at it like what if it was me who cheated on a guy? Wouldn't I want to be forgiven and sincerely apologize for what I did. I don't think cheating is an end to a relationship..
  • Clareece

    2015-10-14T14:35:38.722Z

    My ex wanted to get back together, and so I'm like sure. He started dating this girl the next day and didn't think that i would find out.
  • Beryl

    2015-06-03T22:22:30.484Z

    Have been cheated on twice in the past. After the tears and thinking it must be my fault etc I then realised it was he who had the problem and I was well rid of both of them. Plenty more pebbles on the beach ! Who needs to beat themselves up over someone else's rotten traits ?
  • Lily

    2015-06-04T03:28:41.679Z

    Be sure your actually being cheated on tho before you slap his face. 'Cause like, what if he was just at the movies with his sister or just happened to sit next to a girl. That would be so weird if she was also there with a date. Haha! Ok, I'm acting a little crazy tonite 😆
  • Claire

    2015-06-03T20:16:48.531Z

    @melissa - you are disgusting and I hope your boyfriend finds someone decent and who actually gives a shit about him. Vile people.
  • Melissa

    2015-06-03T20:05:38.023Z

    I don't think cheating means the end. I've cheated countless times..that doesn't mean I don't love him. We r human.. mistakes r there waiting to happen. I don't think cheating in marriage is ok tho.
  • Hearty

    2015-06-03T16:59:31.881Z

    Whether you choose to stay or not there's a lot of power in forgiving.
  • britt

    2015-06-03T19:04:53.822Z

    Cheating is not simply a mistake its the ultimate betrayal, can a relationship withstand? So many factors play in all the stars would have to be aligned
  • Stephanie

    2015-06-03T15:24:39.022Z

    @Gemini12 very well said! I agree!
  • Claire

    2015-06-03T15:30:34.316Z

    Cheating isnt*
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