How to Trust Again after Being Cheated on ...

By Holly • Jun 1, 2015

You might've kicked your cheating boyfriend to the curb and want to make a relationship with someone new work, even though you have leftover trust issues. Or maybe you've decided you love your disloyal boyfriend too much to end things and are trying to work through your issues. Either way, there are ways you can learn to trust again after being cheated on. Here are a few techniques to use:

Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

Want more like this? Subscribe for personalized picks.

Successfully subscribed.

Check your inbox for personalized content.

1. Communicate More Often

Your imagination will run wild if your boyfriend won't return your texts, of if his car isn't in his driveway when it should be. That's why you should always tell each other what your plans for the day are. Explain where you're going and who you'll be with, just like a child would do with a parent. That way, you'll feel like you're in the loop and you'll stop daydreaming about him running around with other women.

2. Be Blunt about What Makes You Uncomfortable

If your partner really wants your relationship to work, they'll do whatever they can to make you feel safe. That's why you should be honest with them about what makes you feel uncomfortable. If you're not happy about their friendship with an ex, tell them. You'll either work through the problem or end the relationship, but either way you'll be happier.

3. Establish a "No Hiding Policy"

It's unhealthy to snoop through your partner's phone when they leave the room. However, it's also unhealthy to have a lock on your phone to prevent your partner from looking at it. The best thing to do is make an agreement that you can look at each other's phone or computer whenever you'd like. That way, you'll both feel like you have nothing to hide. Besides, the temptation to look will go away once you're actually given permission to do it.

4. Look at Yourself

Don't become so paranoid that you get scared whenever your man looks at another woman. You look at men all the time, but does that mean you want to cheat? The next time your man does something small that makes you question his loyalty to you, ask yourself if you've done the same thing before you start a fight.

If you're looking to engage your partner in intriguing conversations, why not try some hypothetical questions for couples? These fun queries will not only keep the conversation lively but also stimulate deep thoughts and potentially reveal insights about each other's personality and thought processes.

5. Spend More Time Together

The more time you spend with your partner one-on-one, the more you'll grow to trust them. Once you see how much fun you're having together, and realize that they don't want anyone else but you, then it'll be easier for you to trust them.

6. Move past Your Doubts

Cheating is a major crime against the heart. It takes time to heal from such a big injustice, which is why you should be patient with yourself. It's normal for you to wonder if your man is doing you wrong. However, if you truly love him and know he will never hurt you like you've been hurt in the past, you'll move past the doubts that you have about him and make the relationship work.

***

It's crucial to communicate openly about your concerns, allowing your partner to reassure you through their actions and consistency. Building trust involves letting go of past grievances and focusing on the positive aspects of your current relationship. Surround yourself with friends and loved ones who encourage your healing journey, offering perspective and support. Engage in activities that boost your self-esteem and help you feel in control of your emotions. Remember, trust is rebuilt slowly, step by step, with mutual effort and understanding. With patience and commitment from both sides, doubts will fade, paving the way for a stronger, more resilient bond.

7. A Different Person is a Fresh Start

The cold hard truth is that most relationships fall apart after someone cheats. If you have a hard time trusting your boyfriend after he sleeps with someone else, you might have an easier time trusting someone new in a different relationship. Sure, cheating can scar you, which means that you might still be insecure in a new relationship. However, you can remind yourself that your ex was the one who hurt you, not your current partner. You can't take out your frustration on someone who'.

Anyone who cheats on someone as amazing as you doesn't know what they're missing. Have you ever been cheated on? What have you done to start trusting again?

Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

Want more like this? Subscribe for personalized picks.

Successfully subscribed.

Check your inbox for personalized content.

Feedback Junction

Where Thoughts and Opinions Converge

  • Katie

    2015-06-01T19:41:22.670Z

    I disagree with the "it's unhealthy to lock your phone" thing. The only time anyone would know was if they were trying to use my phone without permission, and it's not unhealthy for me to not be okay with that, no matter who it is. I have my life stored on my phone!
  • Nicki

    2015-06-02T13:02:37.339Z

    My boyfriend cheated on me in the spear of the the moment i planned to destroy his life but then we talked about it and we stayed together its been a few months now since it happend we are still together but i still have very big trust issuses aboutit but i dont talk about it no more it causes arguments do im just gonna try to forgive but ill never forget if he does it again i know im going to just move on i should be enough for him one time might be a mistake but the second time its a choice i love him bit my pride is stronger than that
  • Shelly

    2016-11-12T10:33:44.844Z

    @Allana Hi Alana I am the same my ex husband cheated and now my ex boyfriend has , I just wonder what's wrong with me , I have to stay single for a while to sort my head out ! It is very hard to trust again 😢
  • Claire

    2015-06-02T09:32:19.072Z

    I hate*
  • Erica

    2015-06-19T11:18:35.109Z

    10 yr relationship cheater gave him many chances to fix it for me for family until I decided that I was worthy of something so much better and he is amazing. I can say thank you to my ex. Move on because staying with a cheater is only hurting you and they will not value you if you stay they will feel that they can do anything to you and you don't care about yourself if you let them get away with it
  • Claire

    2015-06-02T09:31:57.983Z

    Cheating is a disgusting act. The only justification for cheating is because they wanted to cheat. If someone cheats, that should be the end of the relationship - they didn't care enough to keep it going, so why should you. (I've never been cheated on but this is the main subject in passionate about because I have cheating scum people) :)
  • SudaneseGirL

    2015-06-03T13:15:21.260Z

    Never caught him in the act but I was more than sure he was cheating even though he was good at convincing that he wasn't.
  • Zoe

    2015-06-22T04:45:22.191Z

    YOU NEVER GIVE A CHEATER ANOTHER CHANCE, POINT BLANK.
  • Rachel

    2015-06-02T17:14:58.223Z

    I was cheated on after almost 8 years and it was re worst pain I've ever felt. Couldn't eat for weeks. I used to wonder why it couldn't have happened earlier in the relationship so I didn't waste so much time on him. After a couple months and deciding to move someplace new, and that led me to my current BF. I realized if things didn't happen when they did I wouldn't be in this wonderful relationship. That's why I am a firm believer in 'everything happens for a reason.'
  • AK

    2015-06-01T17:38:58.854Z

    My first boyfriend cheated on me. I kind of serial dated to get past it. Not proud, wish I hadn't done that. Sigh. But now, I'm with a man who loves me a lot and we have a fine relationship, so far, so good.
Commenting as
Add allwomenstalk.com as a preferred source on Google to see more of our trusted coverage when you search.
Allwomenstalk app icon

Don't Miss the Latest Version

Get the latest stories, save favorites, and share with friends — all in one place.

New Earn badges & level up while you read

Create your profile. Earn badges. Level up your reading.

Join Allwomenstalk to track your streaks, collect badges, and earn XP for the things you already do—reading, sharing, and taking quizzes.

  • 🔥
    Daily streaks with gentle boosts for 3, 7, and 30 days.
  • 🏅
    Collect badges like Reader I–III, Socialite, and Quiz Ace.
  • ⚡️
    Earn XP for reads, deep reads, likes, comments, and shares.

It’s free. Takes 30 seconds. Already have an account? Sign in.

10,000+ badges earned last month

Level

3

Streak

7 🔥

XP420 / 700

Badges

🔥 On a Roll
📖 Reader I
📣 Socialite

Trending products

Other Cool Reads

Related Topics

patron saint of breakups how to distract yourself from crush college bf feeling neglected relationship getting back on your feet after divorce i won the breakup how to deal with frenemies how to make them regret losing you phases of breaking up how to end a relationship with dignity
Featured article image