7 Reasons It's Smart Not to Hold out for a Soulmate ...

Alison Feb 1, 2015

7 Reasons It's Smart Not to Hold out for a Soulmate ...
7 Reasons It's Smart Not to Hold out for a Soulmate ...

Everyone likes to think that one day they'll meet their soulmate. There has to be someone out there who's perfect for us, right? But you should be wary of hoping for that perfect person to walk into your life; some people may be lucky, but it's not necessarily a realistic hope. Here are some reasons you shouldn't hold out for a soulmate …

1. There's More than One Person for You

The idea of having a soulmate implies that each of us only has one person who is right for them. It's a nice, romantic concept, but if it were true nobody would ever find love again after losing their partner. There isn't just one person for each of us; there are many people we could have a great relationship with. You just need to find one of them!

2. Long Wait

If you hold out for a soulmate, you could be waiting a long time for something that may never happen. Do you really want to regret letting good people slip through your fingers? Don't put your life on hold because you want to wait for the 'right' person. Forget about this near-mythical concept and look instead for someone who will make you happy.

3. Unrealistic Expectations

Waiting for a soulmate can mean living under unrealistic expectations. It's strange to expect one person to fulfil all our needs, yet that is how a soulmate is defined. They're the one person who can make us truly happy and who understands us in a way nobody else could. Why waste time yearning for such an unlikely prospect, when you could be happily single or building a great relationship with Mr Not-Quite-Perfect?

4. Missing out

Don't dismiss someone just because you don't sense that they're your soulmate. If you wait for your soulmate to come into your life, you could be missing out on someone who's a really great person. Holding out for Mr Wonderful is all very well - but he only really turns up in romantic fiction. Since we're living in the real world, don't miss out just because you're judging everyone by impossible standards.

5. Your Soulmate May Not Be a Partner

This might come as a surprise, but your soulmate isn't necessarily who you think they'd be. You expect them to be a partner, but your soulmate could very well be someone who's a friend instead. It's perfectly possible to meet someone who absolutely 'gets you', but with whom you have absolutely no sexual chemistry.

6. Life Isn't a Novel

Life isn't a romantic novel, where we meet the perfect person and everything ends happily. It's rather more complicated than that, and a worthwhile relationship takes a lot of work. Real relationships are flawed, so don't hold out for someone who doesn't exist outside the pages of a novel.

7. Don't Exist

Frankly there is a very real possibility that not only will you not meet your soulmate, but that soulmates don't exist at all (though some may disagree). If they don't, then it's not only depressing waiting for one, but a waste of your life. Concentrate on building a good relationship with a real partner, and in being happy within yourself.

You can still be very happy with someone without feeling that 'soulmate' connection. The best relationships may come from accepting that someone is not your perfect mate, but a pretty darn good one. That doesn't mean putting up with second best, but rather taking a realistic view and accepting that even the best partner isn't perfect. Do you believe in soulmates?

Feedback Junction

Where Thoughts and Opinions Converge

As someone who have lived life and has gone through a divorce, I think I can bring some insight to this topic. Do I believe in soul mates? Yes.... Because I'm living it. That magnetic attraction to one another on so many levels that is almost against your own will. What an amazing feeling to be so completely and helplessly in love with someone and to know without a doubt that they feel the exact same way about you. However, in no way soul mate or not do relationships not require work. That's what I like about this article. What it's really saying is that no matter the relationship all relationships take a lot of work and effort on both sides. You are never going to find someone who is 100% perfect, that's an impossible and unrealistic concept because we are all human and because of that flawed.

Soul mates do exist... Mine just so happens to be my best friend

I believe in soul mates. But right now I have been dating my friend who I've known since the 8th grade and never realized that after years we reconnected 4 yrs ago and been inseparable. He is my soul mate, but he doesn't want to commit. We both love each other, we are the best of friends but I don't know why we can't be together. Pls advise.

There is someone everybody ,I do believe in soul mates

@JanZpansie. I had a very similar situation. 3 years ago I reconnected with my soul mate whom I've known since 8th grade. We had a two year, intense romance with a very deep, almost psychic connection. He said he was going to marry me and adopt my daughter. The terrible problem is, he has been married (supposedly lovelessly) for 25 years, with 3 children. He is extremely charming, and I fell very deeply in love with him, against my morals, and everything I believe in. The "soulmate" thing was what trapped me. He literally held me by my heart and soul, though I knew what we were doing was very, very wrong. I believed that no other man on the planet could have had such a hold over me, but also believed we were (and still are), soulmates. A year ago I ended the relationship, though I went back to him time and time again. I realized that even if he did marry me, I would become the wife that he would cheat on next. He played me, and it took me a year of intensive therapy to finally let him go and move on. I will always love him, but he is not for me. My advice for you is to let your non~committal soul mate go, and live your life. Who knows? Maybe in another lifetime you will be together, but please don't spend this one waiting around for him. Best of luck and love to you!

@JanZpansie ~ I forgot to mention that this 'soulmate' that I knew since 8th grade were also high school sweethearts, but I had moved away and we were separated by continents.

I dont agree with any of this.

When i'm with people who i click with, i think of them as soul mates - I probably sound funny but it's a not just a romantic thing to me. It's when people mean a lot to me and I love them for who they are, no matter guy or girl :)

I still believe in the concept of soulmates. You shouldn't have to lower your standards (unless they're highly unrealistic) just to be with someone instead of being alone. Waiting for someone who will respect you is well worth the wait.

I really loved this article, made me open my eyes. 👀👍

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