All Women's Talk

7 Reasons to Wait to Say I Love You ...

By Holly

When you find that special someone, it's hard to contain your emotions. We know you just want to scream and let him know how much you love him. But trust us ladies, timing is everything when it comes to saying those three words. Here's Holly's lovely post on why waiting is good! Thank you Holly :)

Since so many people are eager to find love, they tend to say the magic words before there’s any truth in them. Although you’re crazy about the attractive, hysterical, perfect-for-me-in-every-way guy that you met a week ago, it’s best to let some time past until you vocalize your undying love. If you’re having a hard time holding back your feelings, here are 7 reasons why silence can be golden.

1 Honeymoon Phase

A few weeks (or even months) in, everything about him makes you smile. But as time passes, the excitement and initial attraction can fade. As he gets more comfortable, you’ll find out new things about him. He won’t hide his embarrassing stories or messy room. You may even tire of the things you thought you enjoyed. The laugh you ‘could listen to all day’ may eventually make you want to pull a Picasso. It’s better to get to know someone fully before you tell them, and yourself, how much you love them.

2 Why so Serious?

The start of a relationship is a fun, carefree time. Instead of focusing on whether you’ll spend the rest of your life together, you should be thinking of where you’ll spend your weekend together. If you skip the fun moments and try to delve straight into a serious relationship, you could miss out on some amazing adventures. If he’s really the love of your life, they’ll be plenty of time for love letters and ring browsing in the future.

3 Myth of Love at First Sight

The only thing you can love about a stranger across a crowded room is their looks. You can feel lust, or even an instant connection, with someone you haven’t met, but the feeling is far from love. How can you love someone without knowing their personality? Their hopes and dreams? Their favorite Harry Potter film? Before finding out those answers, love is out of the question.

4 Lying Game

Never tell him you love him if it’s a lie. It’s unfair to make him believe that the relationship means more to you than it actually does. If he says the words first and you feel pressured to return them, explain to him that you take the phrase seriously and that you want to wait until you’re comfortable to say it back. If he truly loves you, he’ll understand.

5 Scared of Commitment

Even if you and your new hottie hit it off, he might not feel as strongly as you do. If you tell him you love him too early in the relationship, you risk terrifying him. Some people prefer to take things slower than others, which isn’t a problem. If you know your man isn’t ready for the ‘L’ word yet, let it wait a while.

6 Meaningless

If you go around telling others that you love them after a few weeks, it lessens the meaning. Waiting makes the words more powerful. If he knows that you’re saving the phrase for when you genuinely mean it, it’ll make him feel all the more special when you finally do.

7 Not a Movie

The world isn’t a Shakespeare play. Romeo and Juliet only had two hours to fall in love on stage. Reality lasts a whole lot longer, so love should take longer to develop. Committed relationships can’t appear out of thin air; they need to grow at a gradual pace. Don’t let what you’ve seen in the movies influence the rate your relationship progresses. Wait until you’re 100% ready to tell him how you feel.

I hope you take these reasons into consideration before you confess your feelings to your new boy. Was there a time in the past when you said, «I love you» too early and regretted it?

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