Many women in our grandmothers' generation, and maybe our mothers' as well, waved goodbye to the physical side of their marriage once they passed the age of childbearing. Often they did so with a sense of relief that they no longer had to accommodate their husband's "demands". It may make biological sense for a woman to lose interest in sex once they reached menopause, but not all women do; many continue to enjoy sex and some even find a renewed enthusiasm for it. Besides, today's women want more from their marriage than a purely companionable arrangement. And there are sound reasons why an enduring physical relationship will benefit your marriage, no matter how long you have been married.
For many people - men included - sex within a committed relationship brings the greatest rewards. That is because it enhances the intimacy in the relationship and strengthens the bond between partners. This emotional bond needs to be worked on; with the many demands of work and family life, it is all too easy to pay insufficient attention to maintaining your emotional closeness over time. A rewarding physical relationship is beneficial for the emotional and physical well-being of both partners. It allows each of you to feel wanted and desired, and reminds you of why you were drawn to them at the beginning.
A couple should always remember that their relationship needs to be worked on, no matter how long they have been married. It is always a work in progress. Many older couples credit the enduring success of their relationships with their decision never to go to bed angry with each other. They understand that you need to make an effort regarding your marriage, and that is equally true for the physical side. If you don't work on enjoying sex, it may become a self-fulfilling prophecy, leaving both of you more than a little bewildered as to why you are becoming more distant from each other.
Indeed, it is important to be adaptable as your health and energy may fluctuate as you get older. You may benefit from exploring new ways of enjoying physical intimacy; there is more than one way of doing so. Your self-image can also deteriorate as you get older, affecting your enthusiasm for sexual activity. Perhaps you feel that your spouse can no longer find you as attractive as they used to. That is almost certainly untrue. Remember, your spouse is aging as well! Besides, feeling loved and desired will boost your self-esteem if you allow it to. Let yourself express your desire for your partner; it is a two-way street, and they also want to know that you still love them in every sense.
The menopause need no longer be an impediment to enjoying a full and rewarding physical relationship. For those women who find sex uncomfortable due to hormonal changes, there are creams and gels available from your doctor that will compensate for these changes. In some cases, HRT may be advisable and can compensate for the effects of this very natural, but sometimes difficult, stage in a woman's life. A healthy lifestyle and good diet will also help provide you with the energy you need for an active sexual relationship.
It is important as well to be kind to yourself and avoid being self-critical. Your body may be changing, and you may also feel distressed at no longer being able to have children, even if your family has long since been complete. This part of your life is a stage that every woman goes through, and acceptance will go a long way to helping you feel comfortable with yourself. You may have gained some weight, and have a few lines or grey hairs. But that should not make you feel undesirable. Self-confidence makes a woman far more attractive than youth does, so make the most of your best features and don't fret about the things you don't like. Indeed, in France and Latin America, older women are still appreciated and seen as attractive, so don't dismiss yourself as "past it".
A happy marriage is built on mutual respect and a willingness to keep working on the relationship. If both you and your spouse continue to express your love for each other in every way possible, you'll maintain intimacy long into your twilight years. While you may not have the energy of your youth, you can still enjoy a full and rewarding relationship that will continue to keep you feeling close and loving.