All Women's Talk

7 Steps to Connecting with an Old Flame ...

By Alicia

Connecting with an old flame is something that many people want to do at some point in their life. However, you may not know exactly how to go about it. These are some good steps to take when you want to connect with an old flame. I hope they give you the confidence and the know-how to reach out to the one you’re hoping to feel sparks with again.

1 Do Some Reconnaissance Work

In other words, snoop. In this day and age of social media and the advanced technology you have at your fingertips, it isn’t too difficult to find out what’s going on in their life. A couple simple searches and you’ll probably have a wealth of information to read up on. See what they’ve been into since the split. It can help you to be more certain if you really want to reconnect.

2 Make Sure They’re Single

This is a very important one, ladies. Make sure he’s single. You don’t want to go breaking up any happy homes. Even if you’re still carrying a torch for him, respect it if he’s in a relationship. And who knows? That may not always be the case and an opportunity to connect with him may open.


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3 Drop a Friendly Note

If you’re sure you want to connect with your old flame after you do all your detective work and are know he’s single, this is the next step. Drop him a friendly little message on social media, a text or an email. It’s good to connect with him in a way that gives him space rather than just calling him up which can make him feel awkward and caught off-guard. Keep your message simple and don’t go into anything deep. At this point a simple thinking of you and how’s life going message is as far as you want to go.

4 Wait

This is the hardest part. You need to wait and give him time to respond. You’ve put the ball in his court. If he’s interested, he’ll get back to you. Have no doubt of that. It may take a little longer than you like for him to respond because most guys have a more relaxed time frame than we women. Give him time to answer when he’s ready.

5 Do Some Fishing

When you do hear back from him, it’s time to do a bit of fishing. In your next communications with him, it’s time to ask subtle questions. Find out what he’s doing with his life and what sort of person he is now. Think over if you really want to start something back up. It may be the perfect thing but it also may not.

6 Do Some Flirting

If you decide that you’re definitely interested in pursuing a relationship with him then it’s time for the fun part. Flirt with him. Let your interest show. If he’s open to talking about the good times in your past relationship, go there with him. This is where you see if there’s hope for a future.

7 Be Brave and Bold

He should typically take it from here but it’s possible he’s a little slow. If you don’t want to wait then there’s always the option of asking him out. Yes, it’s a move that requires boldness and bravery. But you haven’t come this far to give up now. Choose something very casual at first like a cup of coffee or lunch.

These are 7 steps you can take when you want to connect with an old flame. Are you thinking of connecting with an old flame? Share your stories here!

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