The Dating Skills You Need to Have to Avoid Being Played by Men ...
By Heather • 29 Comments
By Heather • 29 Comments
Most of us know what it's like to be played by a guy, don't we, ladies? Not all men are players, of course, but there are plenty of them out there, and if you're into the dating scene at all, you're definitely going to run into quite a few of them. Sucks, doesn't it? It's awful to waste time, energy, and interest on a man you like only to find out that he's just playing you. No woman wants to be another notch on a dude's bedpost or another conquest story. And guess what? You never have to be that girl again. You can guard yourself against all the players out there and prevent them from having access to your heart. If you want to avoid being played by any other men, you just need some foolproof dating skills at your disposal!
It's so easy to say all the right things – that's why we always point out that actions mean so much more than words. Saying all the perfect things doesn't take any effort at all. Zilch. A man can say he truly cares about you all day and all night, but if his actions show otherwise, guess what's real? A man who won't put any action behind his words isn't serious and he's not worth your time.
It is important to remember that when it comes to dating, a man's actions speak louder than his words. While a man may say all the right things, if his actions don't match up, it's likely that he isn't serious about you. A man who is serious about a relationship will be willing to put in the effort to show it. This means making time for you, being there when you need him, and doing thoughtful things to make you feel special. The bottom line is that if you're looking for a relationship, make sure that your date's actions match his words.
You know how women say of each other that if we don't love ourselves, we can't love someone else? Well, the same is true for men, which is why you want to avoid going out with guys who have clear and obvious self-esteem issues. A guy who's unable to love himself or recognize his own value certainly won't be able to see how valuable you are.
It is important to be aware of the signs of a man with low self-esteem. Such men may be overly critical of themselves, have difficulty making decisions, or may be overly dependent on others. They may also be overly defensive or quick to anger when faced with criticism. These men may also have difficulty expressing themselves and may have difficulty forming and maintaining meaningful relationships. It is important to be aware of these signs and to steer clear of men who display them.
Players are very good at pretending. Quite often, they'll pretend that they have massive feelings for you right away. That's a huge red flag, girls! If he's saying he loves you and he barely even knows you, there's something wrong. If he's engaging in intimate boyfriend behavior right away – calling and texting all the time, staying on the phone all night, showering you with gifts and compliments – then just be aware that it might be an act. See, if he makes you believe he's perfect now, then later, when his player tendencies come out, he'll already have you hooked. Sneaky, huh?
If you're looking for a real relationship, it's important to be aware of men who catch feelings too quickly. These players are often very good at pretending to be in love with you right away, and they may try to engage you in intimate behavior, like staying on the phone all night, showering you with gifts, and sending you excessive compliments. This is a huge red flag, as it is likely an act to get you hooked. To avoid being played, it's important to be mindful of men who seem too good to be true and take your time getting to know someone before getting too deeply involved.
“Baby, I would NEVER treat you like that.” “Girl, I will NEVER wrong you.” “Pretty lady, I am here to take care of you FOREVER.” Extreme promises seem sweet and romantic, but they're bad news. These are just lines, fed to vulnerable girls and women. Remember, the guy who really will treat you right isn't going to tell you about it, he's just going to DO it.
When it comes to dating, it is important to be aware of the potential for being taken advantage of. One way to avoid this is to be wary of extreme promises made by men. These types of promises are often used to target vulnerable women and can be seen as a red flag. The man who truly cares for you will show it through his actions rather than his words. It is important to remember that these extreme promises are often empty and should be taken with a grain of salt. Ultimately, it is best to trust your intuition and be cautious of anyone who promises too much too soon.
That's not to say that the only reason to date a guy is to get him to take you to dinner or something. No, see, players just never take you out in public anywhere – or, when they do, they take you out of town. You don't meet the player's friends, though, and he doesn't take you on traditional dates, but he'll have loads of excuses explaining why – his friends will tease him, he's been burned, he's nervous, he's scared, he's just so shy!
It is important to be aware of the signs of a player if you want to avoid being taken for a ride. Guys who never take you out in public or introduce you to their friends are a red flag. They may make excuses such as they are too shy or scared, or have been burned before. In reality, they are just not interested in investing in a meaningful relationship. These types of guys are only looking for a short-term fling and will not be there for you in the long run. Be wary of guys who do not show any signs of commitment and always take the time to get to know someone before getting involved.
Why? Because if you keep a list of when the potential player in your life calls or texts, you can figure out if you're just a booty call. You might only hear from him after ten or eleven at night, you might only hear from him on the weekends, or he might message you at odd weeknight hours. Unless he works the night shift, there's no reason he can't get in touch with you during the daytime, too.
Creating a call/text log for potential players is an important step in avoiding being played. It allows you to track when the person is contacting you and if they are only reaching out late at night or on the weekends. This can provide valuable insight into the person's intentions and if they are only interested in being a booty call. Additionally, it's important to pay attention to the content of the messages and if the person is only asking for something from you or only trying to start a conversation when it's convenient for them. Taking the time to create and maintain a call/text log can be extremely helpful in recognizing when someone is trying to play you.
I know this probably seems like a stupid, trite point, but it's really not. Players will often give out nicknames like “baby,” “bae,” “boo,” “honey,” “pretty lady,” “mama,” or “cutie,” among others. Now, nicknames can be sweet. However, if he starts using these right away and he uses nicknames more than your actual name, well … two things. For one, he might just have too many girls in his life to remember all of their names. For another, he might just be forging – and forcing – an emotional connection.
Have you ever been played before, girls? In retrospect, what signs stood out the most?