9 Signals to Keep in Mind when Dating a Player ...


I'm going to go out on a limb and assume that dating a player is rarely your intention. Sure, there are probably some instances where the thrill of the chase prompts you to go after a known player, or you might fall for his charisma, well aware that you're dating someone who very much enjoys playing the field and has a collection of notches on bedposts or belts. If, however, you're worried that your current crush or date du jour is playing with your emotions, you need to keep an eye out for the biggest signals. Dating a player can lead to heartbreak, so it's worthwhile to protect and prepare yourself as much as possible.

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Constant Cancellations

Did your first date actually take place on your third? Are you constantly getting calls and texts letting you know that he's canceling your date, usually at the last possible minute? When he's not at all respectful of your time and doesn't take your plans seriously, you may well be dating a player. This is a huge red flag, especially when it's a consistent issue.


What Friends?

Oh, he has friends, but you don't meet them. You hear tales about the guys all the time, but it takes him forever to introduce you to his friends, if he ever does. Admittedly, there are several reasons for this. He could be intensely private, he might be a little possessive, or perhaps he never introduces a girl to the people who are closest to him until it's serious. Just consider it a potential signal, especially when combined with other signs.


Weeknight Warrior

Have you ever gone out on the weekend? If not, don't you find that odd? Fridays and Saturdays are the most popular nights for dates, but you hear from him on random Mondays and Thursdays. What's up with that? If you're consistently a weeknight girl, you might want to consider why. What's he doing all those other nights?


Last-Minute Lust

In addition to only asking you out on weeknights, a player will frequently call or text you late at night. The worst part? It's usually to mess around. If all of your “dates” consist of booty calls, there's a huge problem there. This might be what you want, in which case that's cool, but if you're hoping for something serious and all you get are midnight texts letting you know he's feeling randy, step back.


Speed Sex

Speaking of sex, how quickly did he push for physical intimacy? Players usually instigate sex very quickly, and they're aggressive about it. Your player might come off as tender, sweet talking you with compliments about how you're just so hot and sexy and beautiful that he just can't help it, but that's the charisma talking. He's well versed in the art of seduction and he knows how to get what he wants.


Superficial Conversations

What do the two of you talk about? Is he interested in the finer details of your day, curious about your past, or eager to know about your goals and dreams? If you only share the most superficial information, you need to ask yourself why he's so reluctant to share. You might share pieces of yourself with him, but if he doesn't seem interested and doesn't reciprocate, please be on guard.


Social Media Signals

This isn't about stalking his social media and you have to take some details with a grain of salt. However, if the majority of his friends and followers are girls, and they all leave a lot of flirtatious, provocative comments, you do have to wonder what's happening here. Maybe he's playing all those girls as well.


Sweet Little Lies

Even with the most skilled and charismatic player, the lies start piling up and showing through. If you notice that certain things don't add up or clash with the things he's shared before, keep that in mind. Even little white lies suggest he's got something to hide. What is it?


The Buddy Brigade

When you are around his friends, pay attention to how they behave. Is there a kind of frat boy mentality going on? Do they friendly whisper with your player, make off-color inside jokes, and treat you like the newest random in a long line of them? You can tell a lot about a person by the company they keep, so observe the way his friends act with you and with him.

I won't say that dating a player is the worst thing ever, but only if you know what you're doing beforehand. Falling for someone who prefers toying with the emotions of others is hurtful and it can be really damaging to your self esteem. Do what you can to pinpoint these signals before you get in too deep, for the sake of your heart. Have you ever dated a player, either knowingly or unknowingly? What were some of the warning signs?

Feedback Junction

Where Thoughts and Opinions Converge

That's why I had to let my guy go today 3/30/14 he did all of this

I was seeing a guy who met every single criteria listed in this article. I could (and will) easily use this as a checklist in the future. It is spot on!

Hi.. I need some advice


Great article. !

If they text or fb or call you but rarely physically see you, you're dating a player. One who isn't even respectful to your feelings. Drop them.

boo. your article wreaks

Great damn article. Dated a guy like this and picked up on every single detail described in this article. It didn't last long, I ran away fast as I can.

I've dated a player the worst mistake ever, it's crazy I knew what was going on but thought maybe he could change and just ended up in heart break!!

All check!

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