There are many things you should never tolerate in a relationship, though many of these things are MUCH easier said than done. We are complex beings and while we may rationally know we should not be with someone for some reason, it is not always so easy to "just walk away." Always remember that you are a worthy being and that you never "deserve" harmful things a partner may inflict upon you; so don't forget this list of things you should never tolerate in a relationship!
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1. Cheating
Of all the things you should never tolerate in a relationship, cheating is an obvious one. Cheating should not be tolerated in a relationship for several reasons. One, if your partner is cheating, you don't know what diseases he may be picking up from others, and these could jeopardize your own health. For another, cheating breaks trust, which is a major foundation of a healthy relationship. If you happen to feel, given your particular circumstances, that working through an incident is an option you want to explore, fine, but do NOT, by any means, tolerate perpetual cheating. A cheater is not worth your own well-being.
2. Lying
In addition to cheating, perpetual lying should not be tolerated as trust is a key foundation in any relationship. A white lie here and there is not necessarily something to get worked up over, but if you catch your partner lying to you on a regular basis, it's time to rethink your relationship with that person.
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3. Out-of-Control Tempers
Anger is a natural human emotion. Everyone feels angry at times, but anger and an out-of-control temper are two drastically different concepts. If you find that your partner punches holes in walls, takes his anger out on you in an inappropriate manner, makes threats, breaks things, etc., this is not a healthy expression of anger and can lead to devastating consequences in your relationship. Do not tolerate this behavior. Either insist that he seek treatment options for his temper or drop him.
4. Physical or Sexual Abuse
Abuse of any form should not be tolerated in a relationship. Unfortunately, many people fail to recognize signs of domestic abuse for a number of reasons. You must first realize that no matter what, you NEVER deserve to be abused. If your partner hits you, beats you, rapes you (and yes, this includes marital rape), or inflicts any sort of physical violence on you, try your best to get out of the situation. I know this is often easier said than done, but realize not all men are like this and that you are worthy of someone who will treat your body with respect!
5. Mental or Emotional Abuse
Mental and emotional abuse are often even harder to detect than physical or sexual abuse. If your partner uses manipulation, threats, belittlement, or any other means of making you feel unsafe, insecure, or bad about yourself, this is most likely a form of abuse as well. Do not tolerate a partner who makes you feel unworthy. And remember, no matter what he says to knock you down, the shame is on him, not on you.
6. Harm to Your Children
If you find that your partner has in any way jeopardized the well-being of your children, get rid of him immediately. Whether they are his children or not, he must respect them as well as you. If your children ever say that they have been inappropriately touched, harmed physically, etc. by your partner, he MUST go. NEVER tolerate a man who harms your children.
7. Disrespect
Ultimately, all of these things can be boiled down to disrespect in some manner. If you find that your partner is not respecting your body, thoughts, emotions, etc., find someone else who will.
These are some of the things I don't feel should ever be tolerated in a relationship. What other things do you think should never be tolerated in a relationship?
Comments
Melissa: Tasha, great point. I agree sometimes a lot of us have big hearts and find it easier to ignore or seek the best of that person.
Camille: You know I'm just getting out of a relationship that none of this happen...except extremely manipulative in a way that he made all the rules in our dealings and kept or keeps me bad or women at arms length away leaving you in contempt and somehow keeping you wanting more. Anyway even trying not to feed into contempt messages it got extremely difficult for me and after bouts of sadness, roller-coaster emotional state I decided it wasn't worth it to me vas had to get out. I feel 100% better now, of course I miss pieces of the relationship, however, Peace I posses now and that is a great payoff up against being manipulated and held in contempt. I'm alone, peaceful and love it.
emmajean09: I got into a relationship about a month ago, and then quickly realized that my guy has an ex girlfriend who is very forward about being in love with him still. That is the first problem. The second problem, is that she was over at his place the other night! The THIRD problem, is that last night I was supposed to hang out with him, and he stood me up. He texted me at 3:30 in the morning with an excuse as to why he stood me up. I felt very disrespected so I broke up with him. Trouble is, I am head over heels for him. Also, HE IS MY ROOMATE! Help!!!! What should I do? Also, I broke up with him today and he has not reached out to me and we are both home and havnt seen eachother.
Tashajammin: This article to some may seem obvious, but realistically when in these situations you aren't fully aware of it. By highlighting these points, I hope that somewhere out there people in these situations may identify these traits and walk away.
Sherri: I really like this article and these are all good points. Unfortunately I know someone who is in a relationship like this and she won't leave him. We even stopped talking after I told her to leave him when he tried to crash the car with her two kids in it. I still talk to her kids and feel for them but it's really sad. She goes into one unhealthy relationship after another and it's the kids I feel for. Honestly I care for her so much that I wish she could see that single is the better alternative rather than being treated that way.
Ask: I just ended an 11 year relationship where most of the situation mention was happening! I cannot believe I let it continue for so long!!! However it was the loneliness and the lying and secretiveness! That made me call time on my relationship! He had been gone physically from my life for 6 months. Emotionally and physically our relationship was dead from 2006. We were living like lodgers if fact lodgers speak and are civil! I have never been so happy since I called time on this toxic loveless relationship! I feel like a millionairess👏👏. Will I share my life with someone else no way!!!! However I do hope I find someone to have a laugh with give and receive affection do things together but living together no way! This person will have to want the same terms and condition too! I am so happy since I got rid if my soul destroying parasite
Jennifer: Sherri I also know someone in a relationship like this. My best friend. As frustrating as it is to see someone you care about in this kind of situation the worst thing you could do is stop being her friend. She needs you the most right now. I almost stopped talking to my BFF over it to but I'm glad I didn't. It only would of made her even more alone, isolated ect.
Robine202: Hi total agree with all these points I was in a relationship for a long time with someone who had all of these traits and then some. I want for my confident independent happy woman to someone who is afraid to make a decision for fear that it wouldn't be the right one awesome words to live by for people young and old.
holls: I was in an emotionally abusive relationship and it's so hard to leave. You get told so many bad things that you believe them. Thankfully I got the courage to leave but it wasn't until afterwards that I saw how bad it really was. I'm now marrying my best friend in 3 weeks and I can't wait! He has shown me that not all guys are the same!!
QueenB: Don't forget men can also be abused..
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