One day you can be walking on cloud nine thinking that everything is fine in your relationship, and the next you are blindsided by a breakup. This is one of the worst things that can happen when you are dating someone. because you are totally unprepared for the emotional fallout. I’m going to share a few tips that can help when you have been blindsided by a breakup.
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1. Your Feelings Are Normal
When you fail to pick up any signs that your partner was unhappy in the relationship and he suddenly ends it, you are going to feel like you have been blindsided by a breakup. It’s normal to feel total shock and disbelief that this is happening to you because you thought you were both happy. You will torture yourself with endless questions wondering how did it all go wrong. All these feelings are normal and they will pass as you process this heartbreaking event.
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You might also cycle through a range of emotions from sadness and anger to a desperate need for answers and closure. It's entirely understandable to replay every conversation and analyze every moment shared for clues you might have missed. Remember, self-reflection is part of healing, but it's crucial not to fall into a pattern of self-blame. Give yourself the compassion you'd offer a friend in the same situation. With time, you will find peace and clarity, but for now, kindness to yourself is key.
2. Don’t Blame Yourself
Aside from cheating or doing something equally as destructive in the relationship, you can’t take the full blame for being in splitsville. If your ex wasn’t happy, he should have spoken up and discussed the issues that were bothering him. But some people feel it's easier to walk away rather than work through the issues towards a better relationship. You might have just been unlucky enough to fall for one of these types.
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Remember, relationships are a two-way street. Communication is vital and if he chose not to engage, that's not within your control. Brooding over 'what ifs' and 'if onlys' only serves to keep you trapped in a cycle of guilt and regret. Instead, acknowledge that you did your best within the circumstances. It's about self-forgiveness and understanding that some situations are simply beyond our grasp. Each partner has a role to play, and you can't dance the tango alone.
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3. Take Time for Yourself
Be super kind to yourself as you process this breakup. Your heart has taken quite a blow without warning and it’s going to feel as if your world has been flipped upside down. Often, your self-esteem will take a steep nosedive because you are going to feel unloved and unwanted. The best way to combat these negative feelings is to pamper yourself so you get mini boosts of happiness as you work your way through the emotional pain.
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Indulge in activities that bring joy and relaxation to your life. Whether it’s a bubble bath accompanied by your favorite playlist, a massage, an engaging book, or a yoga session, these moments are precious. They can help you rebuild your inner peace and reaffirm your self-worth. Remember, it’s not just okay, it’s necessary to prioritize your wellbeing during this time. By dedicating time to yourself, you’re not being selfish; you’re simply nurturing the most important person in your life—you. Embrace the solo time to rediscover what makes you happy beyond the relationship context.
4. Be with Happy People
Keep misery to a minimum by hanging out with good friends that can give you a shoulder to cry on. Do fun things that you enjoy to take your mind off the breakup. It’s really easy to slip into depression when someone you love tells you that he doesn’t want to be with you. Surround yourself with people who think positive and can cheer you up when you are hurting the most.
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Emotions can be contagious, so choose to spend time with friends who exude positivity and joy. These uplifting individuals can help you see the brighter aspects of life, even in your darkest moments. Whether it's a night out, a cozy movie marathon, or just a long walk through the park, engaging in activities that bring you genuine pleasure can be an excellent balm for a wounded heart. Remember, laughter is often the best medicine, so seek out those who can draw a smile on your face effortlessly and you might find the path to healing a little less arduous.
5. Don't Waste Time Convincing Him
The last thing you should do is try to convince him that he made a mistake. Although it may have come as a complete surprise to you, it's highly likely he was thinking about exiting the relationship long before it happened. He gave it a lot of thought before he actually initiated the breakup. At this point, he has had more time to process the painful emotions and has detached himself from them.
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Trying to change his mind might not only be futile but can also prolong your own healing process. Instead of canvassing for a reunion, focus on nurturing yourself. Remember, your self-worth is not defined by his decision to leave. By accepting the situation as it is, you allow yourself the space to grow and move forward. Clinging to hope where there is none can keep you trapped in a cycle of what-ifs and maybes that detract from your ability to embrace new beginnings.
6. Acceptance Won’t Come Easy
Although it always takes some time to accept a breakup, this one is going to be particularly difficult because you weren’t expecting to lose him at all. You will remember the most recent time that he said "I love you" and struggle with the idea that his feelings couldn’t have changed that quickly. Worst of all is that you will expect him to come back to you, and many times he won’t. It’s best to think of that relationship as a chapter in your life that has come to an end unless he says otherwise.
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Heartache is universal, and your feelings are valid no matter how alone you might feel in this moment. Embracing self-care rituals can bring comfort during this turbulent time. Reaching out to close friends, journaling your thoughts, and indulging in activities that spark joy can be incredibly healing. Remember, while it's important to reflect on the relationship, avoid dwelling on the "what ifs." This process is about you—finding strength within and slowly piecing your heart back together, ready for a future filled with new possibilities and happiness.
7. Distract Yourself
Find distractions to keep your mind from drowning in memories of your old relationship. After you have been through a blindsiding breakup, your mind is going to struggle and try to make sense of the whole situation, which will bring up many old memories. Find things to distract yourself like find a new hobby, sign up for a class in something you have always wanted to learn or learn a new language. The goal is to distract yourself so you won’t constantly be tortured by thoughts of your ex.
So those are just a few tips that can help you get through the breakup aftermath when someone you love suddenly leaves the relationship. How did you cope when you were blindsided by a breakup?
Comments
Leiser: That's the reason why I don't even get on his thing as much, I've even consider deleting the app! 😒
Sierra: I just broke it off with the guy I've been seeing for 7 months. I did everything for him. paid for everything. always drove to him. and the. I found out he was in many other relationships at the same time and everything was a lie.
Louise: why can't I see the entire essay contents of these anymore. ever since the app changed.
Lashawnda: move on 😢he has
Lina: maybe it's better to enter the website through a regular browser :/
Emma: this is the best thing I've read all day. literally exactly how I feel
Cee: sigh I got blindsided but leaving each other for day he realised that he could r let me go and we are working through our issues
Lovebug: It's true what's been said but if one doesn't make the effort to try and work things out then there's no use trying either.
India: so true , that's what I'm going through right now
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