7 Ways to Make a Long Distance Relationship Work ...

By Bridget • Jun 26, 2013

Dating someone who lives far, far way can be a big drag, but believe it or not, there are ways to make a long distance relationship work. I speak from experience. Way back when, when my husband and I first started dating, we had a long distance relationship for THREE years! Yes, three! We really, really cared for each other and so we put the effort in and made it work. Now, we’ve been together for a total of 14 years and have been married for seven. We must’ve done something right! So, if you’re dating someone who lives a far away, rest assured that there are ways to make a long distance relationship work. Here’s my advice on the subject.

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1. Talk Every Day

One of the key ways to make a long distance relationship work is talking. Even if you have nothing to really talk about, you should make it a point to talk to each other once a day. Your conversation doesn’t have to be long or even have to be about something monumental; a simple phone call to say goodnight, I’m thinking about you and I love you is all that is needed.

2. Write Letters

Texts, emails and Facebook messages are a great way to communicate, but they aren’t really romantic. Send your long distance lover good old fashioned hand-written letters every once in a while. A hand-written letter received in the mail shows that you really took the time to show how much you care – and that you really, well, care. Plus, they are great keepsakes to hold onto.

3. Talk about Each Other

Another great way to keep your feelings for your long distance love front and center is by talking to others about him or her. Not only are you letting the world know how amazing your other half is, but you are reaffirming how amazing you think your other half is. Plus, when he or she comes to town, your friends will be able to say, “I’ve heard so much about you,” or “I heard you got a new job,” or whatever the case may be.

Treat distance like a shared system: fixed check-ins, planned visits, and clear expectations reduce avoidable friction. Use "Talk Every Day" as a starting habit and refine it as your relationship evolves. For practical ideas, use the long-term relationship generator to keep your plans fresh and intentional.

4. Don’t Stress

Being long distance is enough of a strain on a relationship; don’t add to this strain by constantly asking when you’re going to see each other, when you’ll be together or by telling the other you wish they were with you 5,000 times a day. It goes without saying that you want to be together physically, so saying it over and over again can make things stressful and really hurt the relationship in the end.

If you're looking to engage your partner in intriguing conversations, why not try some hypothetical questions for couples? These fun queries will not only keep the conversation lively but also stimulate deep thoughts and potentially reveal insights about each other's personality and thought processes.

5. Keep It Alive

Make your long distance relationship exciting by keeping life in it. Falling into a set routine can make it expected and can actually hinder your relationship. Call at random times in the day, send a gift for no reason or plan a random trip to visit. The fresher and more alive your long distance relationship is, the more exciting it will be and the better the chance that it will work out.

6. See Each Other

You can’t very well make any relationship work without ever seeing each other. Make it a point to see each other as often as possible. Back when my husband and I were long distance, we would try to see each other at least once a month. And each time we saw each other, the stress of making our long distance relationship work was confirmed.

7. Have a Foreseeable End

You can’t stay long distance forever. Having a plan of when you’ll actually be living near each other is a necessity for making things work out. Make sure there is an end to the long distance in sight.

While long distance isn’t the ideal, if you really love each other, you can make it work. My husband and I are a true testament to that. Are you long distance with someone? How are you making it work?

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Feedback Junction

Where Thoughts and Opinions Converge

  • autumn

    2017-11-15T12:53:10.308Z

    How do you guys texting or calling to each other?
  • andiena

    2013-06-27T10:36:15.000Z

    I'm having long distance relationship with my boyfriend.. He is working in holland now, and I'm in bali Well we care for each other.. Sometime we keep telling how much we wish that we live in the same city so i guess it's lil bit hurt.. We talking almost everyday by what's app.. But it's difficult to ask him when I can call him by phone or Skype.. The question.. Could it be problem? If we didnt do those things often? Could it be a bad sign? He told me that whenever we did those thing it just make him feel sad bc he lives so far.. I like this article and I guess it helps alot but I need advice also.. Thanks you
  • Jordan

    2013-06-27T03:10:56.000Z

    My bf and I have been long distance for 2 and a half years. It has its ups and downs but we truly care for one another. These are great tips!
  • andrea

    2013-12-07T21:59:52.000Z

    This helps me so much! I have a boyfriend who lives in spain (im in canada) and i am moving there after i graduate school but thats not for over a year and i just hope we make it through :(
  • sunhana

    2013-06-27T15:39:31.000Z

    I met a guy from internet by chance and we have never met each other. However, we enjoyed talking to each other a lot that in the first week we knew each other, we talked 24/24, whenever we can, though our time distance is 14 hours.This is so weird because I am a girl who is really really hard to fall in love with someone and after a long time losing feeling with all guys around me, I start have feeling with a totally stranger on the internet. This is bad and good with me, because once I start have feeling with someone, it would be really hard for me to forget him. So I am afraid and happy to have this relationship because we haven't ever met each other and I afraid we will run out of topic to talk someday and it will be very hard to maintain this relationship. Really dont know what should I do now :(
  • GemmyLav

    2013-06-30T15:51:34.000Z

    Ive been in an LDR for 2 years :) He lives in United Kingdom and I live in Australia. All I can say is Trust,Respect,Friendship with the one you love is important. And also communication.
  • Carmina

    2013-06-28T13:53:22.000Z

    Thanks for the advice bridget! :)
  • Nyakan

    2013-06-27T03:31:48.000Z

    These are great tips! Me and my boyfriend are long distance and we really do care about each other, and are excited to start our new chapter in our lives together in the same city in August!
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