If you are looking for ways to save your long distance relationship, I am willing to be you are in a bit of a panic right now! Firstly, you sort of need to resolve that panic. The chances are you guys can work things out, you just need to take a couple of approaches. The ways to save your long distance relationship that will work may depend on where the problems are coming from. Not all relationships can be saved, but it is certainly worth trying!
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1. Address Paranoia with a Clear Mind
In my opinion, our generation suffers massively from relationship paranoia. Unfortunately, the technologies we benefit from to hold our relationships together can also make us paranoid. For some people, Facebook is a huge source of worries. One of the best ways to save your long distance relationship is to calmly ask yourself whether you really have anything to be paranoid about. The chances are that person who just added them as a friend isn't in the slightest bit interested in anything else. Forget about the small things, and move on.
2. Make an Effort
Some of us are more laid back than others. In my opinion, once you are serious enough to class a connection as a 'relationship,' your contact needs to be regular. This means calls, texts, Skyping, emails...as long as you have some form of contact, it is going to make the other person feel wanted. If a lack of contact is bugging you, talk to your other half about it. The chances are they are laid back and didn't even know you were upset!
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3. Share Concerns
With that in mind, always share concerns. Nine times out of ten, that huge problem is actually something small. What will make the problem huge is not talking about it and letting it fester in your mind. When those problems do fester, you are likely to explode. Always share your worries, otherwise you may never work past them.
4. Accept Struggles
Some people are in long-distance relationships because their partner is in the army, or they work away for some reason or another. I have a friend at my university who is married to a guy who works out on the sea a lot. He is away more than he is at home, but they are incredibly happy! Before she went into that relationship, she knew what his job was. Accepting the struggles work can create is a great way to keep your relationship secure.
5. Begin Compromising
One of the main reasons a long distance relationship may fail is a lack of compromise. Are you the one always going to see them? Or is it the other way around? How would you like that to change? If there are strains, address whether your visits are coming with the right balance. Realistically, if you want this relationship to last, you're both going to have to compromise on where you live in the future anyway.
6. Make Plans
You may not be ready to move closer to one another yet, but making some form of plans with the one you love can inject confidence back into the relationship. This doesn't have to mean big plans. You could plan a weekend together, or even a day. In fact, even a Skype date is better than nothing! I know that I personally always like to look forward to something. If you don't have plans, neither of you will feel as though you have something worth saving!
7. Learn to Sacrifice
There may come a time when you need to sacrifice something. If you are experiencing problems, do you need to sacrifice something to make it work? Sacrificing is different to compromising, because you are going to give something up. If your other half seems down, ask him or her why that is. There may be something they need you to give up to feel secure. Tread carefully here, there is no point in making yourself miserable.
8. Talk Honestly
If you guys were in a relationship and living near each other, you would probably consider counselling. The chances are, you could find an online counselor to help you. If that isn't an option right now, talk honestly and openly. Give your partner ten minutes to air their concerns, then you do the same. It's amazing what individuals overlook until they begin talking to each other honestly!
9. Take a Break
Sometimes you need time apart to clear your head. Taking a break doesn't always mean breaking up. It can mean not having contact for a few days. By the end of this, you will know whether you want to save the relationship or not. Even better, you will have both had enough time to think things through and talk everything out.
A lot of relationships can be saved easily. As with many aspects of life, you need to exercise patience and tread carefully. Long distance relationships always present new challenges, but that doesn't mean you can't overcome them. If you have any relationship saving tips, what are they?
Comments
Lili: My first LDR worked for a year and taking a break after one year ended up in breaking up. Was extremely painful.
April: Ok, so I have been in a long distance relationships for almost 2 months. He ended up sleeping with one of his co workers.. I forgave him and we have moved passed this. But now he wants me to accept them being friends? I need help.. How am I suppose to be comfortable with that?
Allie: As like an expert in this field unfortunately.. I do have some more tips. -Don't being up the past constantly (if there is anything bad to bring up) -Let them go to bed if you are skyping when they want to go to bed (learned this from experience) -send little things in the mail (it's really cute and you feel like you have a little piece of them) -Don't dread on the fact that you are in a long distance relationship and that you miss each other so much. Yes you can say I miss you, but don't constantly say as if smothering them with the fact that you aren't there. -send them texts through out the day telling them you are thinking about them or that you love them. -don't let jealousy be a factor too much. A little jealousy is okay, it let's the other person know that you are afraid to lose them. And that's all I got for now haha :) good luck ldr's!
Liz: Been with my man for 6 months and we love each other to death. He has decided to put in more hours at work witch means less time with me and its driving me absolutely nuts !! how can i cope with this I,m trying my best by saying to myself hes doing this for us.I tell him my worry's and he always assures me nothing has changed that hes emotionally drained and tired. ugh help !! literally panic as im use to hearing from him all the time and now its maybe if im lucky a few texts a day.
April: Years not months sorry
Sheela: I met my love after 12 years and he expressed his love and feelings and was desperate for me. off late he has stopped expressing his feelings like more and has restricted communications in our long distance relationship but when asked he claims he love me. I don't know what to understand from his message. it is very frustrating and hurting
kiffyn25: So, I've been in a long distance relationship for a little over four years. Recently, he's been less talkative. We talk about an hour out of each day, when we used to text nonstop. He never wants to discuss the future, he claims it's because he's only got today. I know he's got a lot going on, but it's been really weird recently. Any suggestions?
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