When you fall for a guy who used to date your friend, it can leave you with a dilemma. Is it ok to date her ex - after all, he's in her past now? Maybe if it was a long time ago, there might not be an issue; that depends on your friend. But on the whole, you should never fall for a friend's ex - here's why it's not right …
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1. It's Disrespectful to Your Friend
Dating a guy that your friend used to date is disrespectful to her. It's not being sensitive to her feelings - this was someone that she cared about and maybe still does. Seeing you together is going to be hurtful to her and remind her of the pain she went through when they split. Why would you let your friend go through that?
2. You Risk Losing Her
You could also be jeopardising your friendship. Does dating this guy mean enough to you to risk losing your friend over him? Guys come and go, but friendship often lasts longer. If you lose your friend, and your relationship with her ex doesn't last, you've thrown away the friendship for nothing.
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3. Do You Really Want to Date Someone Your Friend Has Been Intimate with?
There's something a bit off about dating someone that your friend has already been intimate with. If their relationship consisted of nothing more than a few casual dates, there maybe isn't an issue. But if it went further, you're going to be sleeping with the guy that she also slept with - and that's really a bit weird.
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It's important to be aware that dating your friend's ex can potentially cause a lot of drama and hurt feelings. Even if the relationship between your friend and their ex was brief, there is still a possibility of lingering feelings and emotions that can be stirred up when you enter the picture. Additionally, it's important to remember that the relationship between your friend and their ex was intimate, and if you decide to pursue the same person, it can be awkward and uncomfortable for everyone involved. It's important to think about the potential consequences before making a decision.
4. There Are Plenty of Guys That Have Never Dated One of Your Friends
Of all the guys in all the world, you have to fall for one that your friend has already dated? Maybe you can't help who you fall for - but you can choose what you do about it. Leave well alone and your interest in him will fade. There are tons of other potential partners for you out there, so go out and meet one of them.
5. It Could Get Messy
Remember the warning that you should never mess on your own doorstep? That's exactly what you will be doing if you date your friend's ex. It's going to be awkward for everyone, including mutual friends. The repercussions could be serious and long-lasting, so why take the risk?
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risk? Drama has a way of spreading, from whispered gossip at social gatherings to outright confrontations. Plus, it’s not just about the present moments of discomfort. Your decision could ripple out, affecting your friendship circle for years to come. Even if you believe your connection with your friend's ex is special, consider if it's worth the potential strain on other relationships that are important to you. And if your friend is still healing, this could multiply the hurt, turning what was once a support system into a battleground of tension and resentment.
6. There's a Reason He's Her Ex …
… and if that reason was that he didn't treat her right, then why should he treat you any better? You're setting yourself up for unhappiness. Women who date their friend's ex often justify it to themselves by reasoning that they are more suited to him than their friend was. But that could be a very wrong assumption, and cause a lot of hassle …
7. Just Because He's on Your Radar, You Don't Have to Date Him
You already know this guy through your friend, so he's on your radar. It may seem easy to date someone that you've already met, rather than look for someone new to date. But although you may think that you know him, you probably don't know him as well as you think. You don't need to take an opportunity just because it's there …
Even if your friend says she's cool with you dating her ex, she may not be. Why risk a friendship over a guy? So it really is best to find yourself another partner …
Comments
BlackIsBeautiful: Who would do such a bitchy thing like that?
Malina: my best friend is dating my ex... and we didn't even break up that long ago. like.. she says she loves him. i don't even know what to do or think.
Pearl: Remember, you when you sleep with someone you are in essence sleeping with every person (s)he slept with. Don't be icky!
jennabenna: I've dated 2 of my close friends' ex's. am I a bad person? lol
Rose: I will never date my friends exes where the f🌺🌺🌺 is the loyalty at
Lynette: is it ok if you are not friends with your 'friend' anymore? like she used to be a close friend but after the break she kinda isolated herself and all? it's actually really really complicated but is it a bad thing to date her ex?
ElflordMcGeek: Yes and no to that. Depends on how long ago they went out. If after a month or two no way but if years have passed and your friend has moved on she or he shouldn't be upset and it's not disrespectful then and if they are still hurt then they did not get over it to begin with. That boils down to forgiveness especially if time has passed. If it's still a new break up then don't do it
Darlene: My best friend married my ex boyfriend. We dated all of our senior year of high school and he was the one who dumped me. I moved on and married my wonderful husband a few years later. It was after I was already married that my best friend started dating him. It was a little awkward at first bur eventually we all just got used to it. He and my husband get along great and now consider themselves good friends. I was one of the bridesmaids at their wedding which some of his family were shocked at because they didn't realize that he was marrying my friend. It's been 20 years so it's never an issue, once in a while one of the four of us will make a joke about it.
Karyme: Idk 😕
theconsultingdetectiveofablogger: What if she was the one who dumped him..
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