After a breakup you are vulnerable and sensitive. When someone new comes along who wants to spend time with you, it’s easy for them to fill the hole in your life. You might think it’s exactly what you need to move on and forget the hurt of your previous relationship. Although successful relationships can be formed on the rebound, the probability is not high. Rebound relationships are generally not a good idea.
This is one of the key reasons a rebound relationship is not a good idea. If you have just come out of a long and meaningful relationship, the likelihood is that you are going to be unbelievably fragile and hurt. This inner pain will make it impossible for you to be emotionally available in the sense that you could let another person in to your life so soon. You really need to give yourself some time to heal before you even think about getting back in the dating game.
A rebound relationship is not a particularly fair thing to do to the person who you will be dating. In their mind, this is just a healthy romance between the two of you; they do not know that you are essentially using them to try to get over your ex. Mixing up your past with your present is never a good thing to do in the world of dating, so wait until you are fully over it before moving on.
If you still have feelings and unanswered questions with regards to your previous relationship, starting an entirely new relationship right away will only serve to add even more confusion and potential heartbreak to the mixture. Using a new partner to try to answer the questions that remain from your old partner simply will not work. They are not the same person; they cannot help in that way.
Rebound relationships, by their very nature, connote an attachment to somebody for the simple reason of proximity. Just because they were around when you felt like you needed to rebound, it certainly does not mean that they are the person for you. Have a real think about the situation and you’ll realize that you are settling for mediocre rather than waiting for something truly special.
One of the most common reasons for somebody jumping in to a rebound relationship is to try to make their ex jealous, and we all know that this is a silly and immature way to handle a breakup. All this will do is make you look stupid and hurt the feelings of your current partner, who will realize that they are just a pawn in your silly games with your ex.
Quite simply, human beings need time to process their emotions, and by going straight in to another relationship you are not giving yourself enough ‘me time’ to really recover from the hurt and pain that your recent has caused you. Even if you think you are ready, take another few weeks to really become at peace with yourself and with the situation.
Sure, getting romantic attention from somebody new might make you feel good, but the kind of self-esteem you need to be searching to achieve is the self-esteem that only you can give yourself. This comes by listening to your head and your heart and giving yourself time to move on naturally without the forced push of an external presence like a new boyfriend.
A breakup is hard but it can make you stronger and more secure in what you want. You deserve to give yourself time.
What’s your own experience of rebound relationships? Please share what you learned.
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