Being cheated on is devastating, and can leave you wondering if you'll ever be able to trust anyone again. It hits at your self-esteem, and makes you wonder why you weren't enough for them. But you do survive, and even come back stronger - I can confirm that from my own experience. So here's how you come back mentally after being cheated on …
Snapshot Survey
Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
Please subscribe for your personalized newsletter:
1. You Need Time
Be kind to yourself and take the time to heal from the painful experience you're going through.. Don't rush into a rebound relationship to prove to yourself that you're still desirable. Being cheated on hurts - a LOT - and there's a temptation to show your cheating ex that you can find someone else too. But you need to wait until the time is right to date again.
2. It's Not about You
Don't blame yourself for your partner cheating. You're not responsible for their behavior. It isn't a sign that there's something wrong with you, or that you let them down somehow. He may even try to justify his behavior by convincing you that it's somehow your fault. Don't buy it for a minute; he's the only one who's responsible.
Frequently asked questions
3. He Might Have Done You a Favor
As hard as it seems to believe right now, your ex (assuming you've shown him the door) may have done you a favor. He's shown you that he can't be trusted, and that he doesn't value you enough to be loyal to you. It's better that you find that out now rather than when you're deeper into the relationship, with kids and legal commitments …
4. You'll Look Back, and Wonder What You Saw in Him
Right now, your heart is broken. But you'll come to the stage when you look back and wonder what on earth you saw in him. So remind yourself that you will get past this painful stage and that you will get over him. It's guaranteed to happen, so look forward to that time.
5. You'll Be a Stronger Person
You'll end up a stronger person away from your cheating ex. Really, you will. I've absolutely thrived away from my ex, and I bet I'm happier than he is (and the woman he cheated with). I didn't imagine that happening, but being cheated on has strengthened my character and determination not to put up with that again for one moment.
6. Get Rid of Things That Remind You of Him
It's so cathartic to throw out anything that reminds you of your cheating ex (if it's valuable, you could always sell it!). But however tempted you are to get your revenge, don't destroy things that belong to him; instead, drop them off at his house so that they're out of your sight.
7. If You Decide to Stay …
Of course, being cheated on doesn't always mean the end of the relationship. Personally I wouldn't trust a guy who'd cheated; for me, it's one strike and you're out. But if you decide to work on rebuilding your relationship together, be sure that your partner is genuinely sorry about what he did. Otherwise the chances are high that he'll go on to cheat again. If he got away with it once, why wouldn't he do so again?
There is life after being cheated on, I promise you, and it's an even better one if you have the courage to move on. And remember that you are 100% not responsible for what he did. Do you think that cheating doesn't have to mean the end of a relationship?
Feedback Junction
Where Thoughts and Opinions Converge