Being desperate to find love can actually reduce the possibility of succeeding. It's an unfortunate paradox that when you want to find love so badly, it becomes even more elusive. Yet you could actually be damaging your own chances of finding romance. Here are some of the reasons why being desperate to find love won't work …
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1. It's Obvious
There's nothing more obvious than a lonely heart desperate to find love. They practically smell of desperation, as they size up everyone they meet as a potential partner. It's just not attractive and will have the opposite effect from what the person wants. People want to feel that you are interested in them as an individual, not that anyone will do as a partner.
2. The Wrong Type
Being too keen to find a partner often leads to falling for the wrong type. You might be interested in a relationship, and kid yourself that your love interest feels the same way. Instead, your rush to find love means you fall for guys that are not interested in anything other than getting you into bed.
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This haste often blinds you to the warning signs and red flags that normally would caution you against certain individuals. It's important to take a step back and reflect on your needs and values, ensuring that they align with the person you're pursuing. Remember, a partnership built on a shaky foundation of desperation rather than mutual respect and affection is likely to crumble. Ensure that you are valued for who you are, not just what you offer. It's better to be single and open to the right person than in a relationship that's wrong for you.
Frequently asked questions
Being desperate to find love often leads to poor decisions and settling for less than what you deserve. It can make you overlook red flags and push you into relationships that aren't healthy.
If you're constantly thinking about finding a partner, feel incomplete without a relationship, or quickly get attached to anyone who shows interest, you might be desperate for love.
Focus on yourself! Work on personal growth, pursue your hobbies, and build strong friendships. When you feel good about your own life, you'll be more likely to find a healthy, fulfilling relationship.
It's totally normal to want love and companionship, but it's important to balance that desire with self-love and confidence. Everyone feels lonely sometimes, but desperation can lead to negative outcomes.
Yes, desperation can cloud your judgment and make you settle for someone who's not right for you. It's important to stay patient and wait for the right person, rather than rushing into a relationship out of fear of being alone.
3. Not Looking Works
How often have you heard it said that you find love when you are not looking for it? I can certainly think of several friends who've met someone when they least expected to do so. Of course, a proactive attitude can also work, but don't fret that you'll always be single. A great partner may turn up in the most unlikely place, so relax and see what happens.
4. Repeat Mistakes
Being desperate to find a partner can mean that you don't learn from previous mistakes you've made in your relationships. When a relationship fails, you need to take time to reflect on what went wrong, and recover from the upset it causes. Don't rush to find another partner, and make the same mistakes you did before.
5. Insecurity
Before you get into a relationship, you really do need to be capable of being happy on your own. Insecurity can often lead you to be afraid of being single, and therefore be too eager to find a partner. Relax - there's nothing wrong with being single and you can cope just fine! It's far better to wait for a good partner than rush to be with the wrong one.
6. Negative Impression
If you're too keen to find a partner, your enthusiasm can actually be off-putting. Not only should you want to find a good person to be with, you should also show that you have something to offer. Too much eagerness can give a rather negative impression that will deter people who might otherwise be interested in you. You might even seem a bit stalker-ish.
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Being too eager can also make it seem like you're not selective enough, implying that anyone will do. This is unattractive as potential partners seek someone with standards that align with their own worth. It's important to balance your desire for a relationship with an air of confidence and self-sufficiency. Show that while you're interested in finding love, you're also perfectly content with your own company. This slight aloofness can actually be incredibly appealing, as it suggests you're a partner worth winning over, rather than one who will settle for the first available option.
7. In a Hurry
Do you feel that time is running out? That you've been single forever? Unfortunately, being in a hurry to find someone to love you can be the very thing that leads you to make mistakes. There really should be no need to rush. The right person is worth waiting for.
However much you want to find a partner - and we all want to be loved - try not to make it too obvious. Show that you are open to having a relationship, but don't be excessively keen. You deserve to be with the right person, so don't settle for the wrong one because you're tired of being single. Have you ever been in a relationship with a desperate person, or been that person yourself?
Comments
Ninbean: This is so true. For a while I was desperate to find love. I still haven\'t found it yet, but I know that because I have stopped looking that my life has been 10 times better, even if I\'m single.
Lekewa: Really needed to see this
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