There are lots of things not to say during sex. When it comes to sex, from what I’ve experienced, I never thought women could ever say anything that could turn a man off. But that's not always true. Here are some things not to say during sex.
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1. Let's Get This over with
We’re all in a rush these days, however, intimacy with your partner should never be rushed. And you certainly shouldn’t say this out loud to your partner. If you find you’re in a hurry, ask your partner if things could wait until a more opportune time or ask before if he/she could make it quick. Just don’t rush them during sex.
2. My Ex Used to do This
Never bring up an ex during any part of your new relationship, but especially during sex. Bringing up the ex insinuates that you’re not over him, and you’re using this new person to get over the old one.
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3. If You Want to
This is the verbal equivalent of a shrug. It says you don’t care and that you’re not really into sex. And if you’re not into it, tell your partner that. Don’t just shrug and go along with whatever your partner wants. Communicate with them. Tell your partner how they can get you in the mood.
4. Was That It?
If there is any criticism, it should be constructive. However, the criticism should come a few hours later or even the next day, and not right after intercourse. Also, the complaints should be conveyed respectfully. Saying “was that it?” can be belittling to your partner. It can add insult to injury. If the sex wasn’t good, just smile and cuddle and bring up a few suggestions for next time or politely indicate what was effective and what was ineffective before the next go round.
5. Offering to do It Yourself
When the sex isn’t good, sometimes we’d just prefer to take care of the problem ourselves. This is all fine and dandy, however, maybe wait until your partner is no longer in the room. Deciding you could do a better job doesn’t help your partner. It makes them feel inadequate and doesn’t help them improve sexually. As I stated in number four, give constructive criticism or make suggestions as to how they can improve. They’ll get better and you’ll definitely receive pleasure.
6. Screaming out Someone else’s Name
Whether it’s an ex, that guy from work, or a celebrity crush, never call out another person’s name while you and your partner are engaged. It shows that you’re not even thinking about the person you’re having sex with. It’s a sign of disinterest and disrespect. Your focus and interest should be on the person you’re with, and never on anybody else.
7. Don’t Start a Conversation
Now, this is more for those in the honeymoon phase of the relationship. If you’re more experienced, then I don’t see anything wrong with having a chat during sex. However, starting a conversation about bills, or what’s for dinner, or bringing up a partner’s family is out of the question. Sex is a time for you to bond with your partner in a way you can’t do with conversation. Sure you should laugh and chat during sex, but leave out the heavy stuff and keep it light and fun.
8. No Backhanded Compliments
Don’t say things like, “that was better than I thought it’d be,” or “you’re bigger than I thought you’d be.” While you think you’re making a compliment, you’re actually letting your partner know how little you thought of them previously. You’re showing your partner you had no faith in them and probably making them second guess whether they should be with you. You’re ruining what could be a beautiful relationship. So keep those comments to yourself, and give positive reviews.
9. Discuss the Serious before You Have Sex
Of course, you should know whether your partner has an STD or if they are a virgin before engaging in sexual activity. However, the time to have this talk isn’t as your clothes are coming off. If this is a one night stand, try to find a clever way to gather the information through light conversation. If in a long-standing relationship, and this is the first time you’ll be engaging in intercourse, I would say start the discussion a few days to a week before.
10. Don’t Say I Love You or Propose during Sex
This last one should be self-explanatory. Now personally, I think saying I love you during sex or afterward is fine. However, according to womenshealthmag.com, unless you are in a long-term relationship, you should not utter these words during sex. As for the proposal, it’s never ideal to propose marriage while either party is naked and certainly not while sex is in process. Standing up, clothed and especially with a ring is the only way a girl should be proposed to.
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