It is such a difficult place to be when you are trying to get out of an abusive relationship. I know because I have been there. I want to offer you hope and support. You can get out of an abusive relationship, too. It is my goal to offer you some useful information here.
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1. Think Carefully
This is not the time to feel your emotions. More than likely you have had more than enough time to feel them, which is how you decided you were at the point of needing to get out of an abusive relationship. This is the time to be logical in your thinking. You need to be very careful in each step you make. Your safety depends on it.
2. Gain Support
Gain whatever support that you can. If you have family willing to support you, cling to that for all it is worth. I suggest looking into all of your legal options. Usually, it takes a combination of both to give you the protection and support that you need in this difficult time. Look for other resources as well, such as Safe Harbor and other women’s shelters, if need be.
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3. Set Money Aside
If you can and as you can, set some money aside for when you do leave. It is best to not put aside much at a time because you do not want it to be noticeable. Also, be sure to hide it somewhere where it will not be found. A better plan is to open a bank account so that it is not even in the home. If that is the option that you choose then it is very important to have all correspondence on that account go to a different address than your own.
4. Have a Plan
You need to have a plan in place. Where you go and how you go when you leave is going to be completely unique to your situation. You may only go to your parents' or best friend’s home. You may be traveling across the country. The depth of planning you need to do is unique to your situation but having a plan is important.
5. Be Ready at Any Time
It is important to be as ready as you can be at any time. When I was in an abusive relationship, I kept my purse and keys by the door in case I needed to leave. Think smart here, ladies. If you can, have the essentials at the ready. This is very important.
6. Begin Moving Things out
If you can, start moving a few things out before you actually leave. Some women can do this and some women cannot. When I left, I left with all that I could grab and load my car with. I did not have the opportunity to move things out ahead of time. But if you do, that would be wise so that you are sure to have more of your things.
7. Keep the Vehicle Prepped and Ready
You do not want to leave an abusive relationship when your car is sitting on empty or your tires are low on air. I realize that a lot of us ladies, although certainly not all, are not overly mechanical. But we can keep our cars filled up and the tires filled with air. Do whatever you can to make sure your car is prepped and ready. Once you leave, you do not want to have to stop anywhere close to where you just left.
How I wish I could talk with each of my readers on a personal basis here but I can’t. I can ask those of you reading along that have left an abusive relationship to offer tips and advice in addition to mine. What can you offer those in this situation right now?
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