Why? Just why do we do it? Why do so many of us end up dating someone who is really not worth the time and effort and certainly not worthy of us? We are beautiful, we are strong, we deserve love and respect, yet we too often settle for the toilet pan of manhood. Why? Why do we keep falling for assholes?
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1. They’re Not ‘Boring’
One of the reasons women are attracted to complete jerks is that on the outset they don’t appear to be boring. Sure, it might absolutely be the case that they are not boring, but what a person starts to realize as they grow and mature is that there are plenty of things in a person that are much worse than being boring and being a complete jerk with your actions in definitely one of them.
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Initial attraction can often be misleading, and the excitement jerks bring to the table may seem like an antidote to monotony. However, the appeal often fades when the adrenaline rush subsides and their true nature persists. As individuals find their footing, they learn that consistency and kindness should trump momentary thrills. Stability might not make your heart race at first glance, but it certainly doesn’t come with the emotional roller coaster that jerks do. After all, a quiet night with a compassionate soul can be its own kind of adventure.
2. They Are Confident
Another of the reasons women are attracted to assholes is that men who are assholes are generally quite confident in their behaviour and their actions. It is easy to imagine that a person with lots of confidence might seem like an attractive prospect on initial meeting, but you need to be careful because confidence can very quickly turn in to arrogance, which definitely turns a person into an asshole!
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3. They Dream Big
One of the key character traits of an asshole is that they tend to dream big. Of course, there is nothing wrong with having a big dream, but the dream will always be held back by the inherent jerk qualities such as not being motivated or serious enough to actually go out and achieve the dream through honest hard work. Big dreams can be attractive, but a lack of conviction in achieving them is a turn-off.
4. They Can Be Brave
Sure, somebody who is an asshole can definitely have a brave quality to them, but this bravery often stems from a desire to be the centre of attention rather than a care for helping or standing up for people in need. There is a fine line between being brave and being a show-off, and I know plenty of assholes that are complete show offs!
5. They Are Selfish
In the early stages of dating, it can sometimes be quite nice when the guy takes charge are makes decisions for date locations and dinner restaurants. It can feel like he is being assertive and confident in what he wants to do with you. However, this assertiveness can very quickly turn to downright selfishness when you start to realize that he makes all of the decision because he only wants to do things that he likes or that interest him.
6. Do You Have Low Self-Respect?
It is a sad fact, but across the world, many women end up in relationships with complete jerks because they don’t have enough self-worth to demand better. If you have a low opinion of yourself and no self-confidence, you are not going to find yourself in a relationship of equal standing, and this sort of environment is prime for an absolute asshole to get his feet in the door and under your covers.
7. Historical Issues
I hate to refer to them as ‘daddy issues’, but sometimes a woman can have negative relationships with male figures growing up which can then transfer into their romantic attachments as they get older. They all say that we marry a man just like our father, but if our father was an asshole, where does that leave us?
The reasons we are attracted to assholes are sad and harsh but knowing them I hope will help more women realise they deserve better. There will always be assholes, but we don’t have to date them! Do we?
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