Three years. I was so sure of you, I was so sure of us. But then It happened, I didn't see it coming, I never expected it would happen. Have you ever been blindsided by a breakup?
Three years down the drain.
Before all of this happened, we were so happy. We were so in love and I felt like I was on top of the world. I believed I had everything because I had you. I was contented with what I had, you became the missing piece to my life, and with you, I felt safe.
We knew each other very well to the point that we became each other's comfort zones. I made sure to express my love for you every single day and you did the same. We were too familiar with each other, I can even hear your voice telling me what to do when I'm not with you. I became too attached, I always thought that you would always be there for me, I have always depended on you. Then I got blindsided by a breakup.
For a while, it was fine. Everything was sailing smoothly and I was too clouded with the thoughts of being with you and loving you all at the same time. I did get very comfortable with my life. Everything was so easy.
And then it happens, I left my job thinking that life would be easy as it is. I just wanted to take a break and enjoy life with you. You were always on my mind, I was always looking forward to seeing you and I spent my days doing that over and over. But you, on the other hand, had other plans, plans which sadly, didn't include me.
It was the worst day of my life. I felt my life shattering to pieces and I don't even know how to put myself back together. I gave everything and I didn't expect this moment to happen. I was too complacent with our relationship. My self contentment was defined by you. You became my standard of everything. Nothing is right if it isn't you.
It hits me hard, I didn't realize that while I was busy loving you, I forgot to love myself in the process. I was not prepared to have my heart broken.
If there's anything that life had taught me, it is unfair. Sometimes you give your all thinking that they too, would do the same, but they don't and that's just the way it is.
I'm so scared, I don't know what to do without you in my life. For the longest time, you have been my shelter, my refuge, my only one. You told me you felt the same. I believe that, too. But maybe, just maybe, after everything that happened, I guess you really love me, you just don't love me the way I love you.
They say time heals everything. For now, that's what I believe in.
I hope someday we'll meet again when we're better for each other. But until then, I'll be good to myself.
-Gisell Flores