Looking for Love can be difficult, wonderful, frustrating, exhilarating, painful, pleasurable -- it's a study of opposites however you look at it. When you're looking for love, everyone else seems to have a partner. Everywhere you go, there are couples holding hands and looking happy. Now, they say that if you're looking for love, you won't find it. Whether you believe that or not, it's wise to be prepared before you start the search for a partner. Here are some important steps to take before looking for love.
1. Be Ready
First of all, when you're looking for love you need to be in the right place psychologically. If you're not over a previous relationship, then it's better to give yourself some more time before getting into something new. Otherwise you run the risk of becoming involved with someone who is wrong for you.
Do you have a 'type' when it comes to men? We all find certain traits or features appealing, but don't be too narrow in your outlook. Instead, be open to things that you wouldn't normally go for. That tattoed guy might look tough, but be a real sweetheart who loves animals as much as you do.
3. Desperation? Disastrous
When you're looking for love, his is a real no-no. Guys can smell desperation a mile off. If you're too keen to get into a relationship, or develop it into a commitment, they will disappear before you finish your sentence. Or worse still, they will take advantage and string you along to get sex, then dump you.
4. Pass the past
We're all the product of our past. It's hard to forget romantic disappointment, deception and disillusionment. However, if you're looking for love once again, then it's important to move past what's happened before, and approach life as a fresh start. We've all had relationships with someone who dumped us, used us or which have left us with bad memories. If you can't move past that, then you're not ready.
5. Learn Lessons
Some lucky people don't need to look for love, they find it straight away with the first person they meet. Most of us have to kiss a few frogs before finding our prince. Still, it's not wasted time – use old experiences to learn from, which will help you have more successful relationships in the future.
6. Toss out the Type
If you have a number of failed relationships behind you, look at any patterns that may occur when you start looking for love again. Do you always go for emotionally unavailable men or do you attract men who barely give you a chance to breathe? So if you always go for the same type of man, put that aside and look for someone different.
7. Valid Values
Know what you want in a relationship, and don't compromise on your core values. It's good to be open to new possibilities, but if, for example, you really don't like the idea of one-night stands, then don't have any. And if fidelity is important to you, don't tolerate cheating – someone who truly loves you wouldn't do that to you.
8. Avoid Confusing Love with Sex
It's a common mistake that we've probably all made at some point, especially when you're looking for love – thinking that if someone wants to sleep with us, it means that they love us. Now, I've nothing against two free adults just having a physical relationship if that is what they want, but one person wanting sex while the other wants a committed relationship is going to lead to disappointment.
Looking for love can be a bit of a minefield, with many a mishap along the way. It does indeed often find you when you least expect it, but there are lots of things you can do to help the search along. So, when you're looking for love, keep these tips in mind if you want to end your single status and find a great partner. Have you ever gone looking for love and found the person of your dreams?
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