7 Simple Ways to Become More Approachable

By Holly • Jun 16, 2015 MD

Whether you want to encourage a crush to start a conversation with you, or you simply want to expand your circle of friends, it helps to appear more approachable. When you seem open and friendly, you'll find it easier to engage in new conversations and create a more thriving social life. It might even lead to that long-awaited date with someone you’ve been interested in for years. Here are a few practical tricks to help you appear more approachable:

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1. Mind Your Body Language

Your posture says a lot before you even speak. Avoid crossing your arms, even if you’re a little chilly, as this gesture can make you look closed off. Similarly, try not to face the wall or window. While it can feel intimidating, making subtle eye contact with others is a great way to signal that you’re open to a chat. It often encourages others to walk up and start a conversation.

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2. Hang Out in Smaller Groups

If you're always part of a very large group, you might appear intimidating to strangers. Conversely, if you're constantly one-on-one with a single friend, others might worry about interrupting your private conversation. The sweet spot is hanging out with a small group of three to four people—it feels much more inviting to newcomers.

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3. Add Some Color to Your Outfit

We all love the simplicity of a black outfit, but don't let it be the only color in your rotation. Wearing brighter shades naturally draws positive attention to you. If you want people to notice you first, a pop of color is an easy, stylish way to stand out in a crowd.

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4. Be Strategic About Your Location

When you're at a party, try not to stand in a dark corner. Position yourself where there's natural flow—near a snack table or a bar area is perfect. Not only will people be passing by frequently, but if you ever feel a momentary lull in conversation, having a drink or a snack in hand gives you something to do while you wait for someone to strike up a chat.

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If you're looking to engage your partner in intriguing conversations, why not try some hypothetical questions for couples? These fun queries will not only keep the conversation lively but also stimulate deep thoughts and potentially reveal insights about each other's personality and thought processes.

5. Give Your Headphones a Break

As much as we all love our playlists, wearing large headphones is a universal sign that you don't want to be bothered. If you’re at a social event or out in public, leave your headphones at home or tucked away. It’s an easy signal to the world that you're ready for connection. If you're looking for ways to boost your confidence, check out our guide on how to be more confident in social situations.

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6. Keep Your Phone Out of Sight

It’s tempting to scroll through social media when you're feeling awkward, but staring at your phone effectively shuts out everyone around you. Keep your phone in your bag or pocket, and look around. You might notice someone else who looks just as ready to talk as you are.

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7. Practice Being a Good Listener

Finally, the most important part of being approachable is showing that you’re a good listener. Smile, nod, and ask follow-up questions when someone does start talking to you. Showing genuine interest is the best way to keep conversations going. For more tips on making connections, read our piece on ways to start a conversation with someone new.

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Feedback Junction

Where Thoughts and Opinions Converge

  • She

    2015-06-16T22:37:02.895Z

    Lmao walking with arms cross. I'm dying laughter.
  • Francesca

    2015-06-17T13:53:18.251Z

    So hard for me. When I see a guy staring at me I become very uncomfortable. It's hard for me to smile and to act normal.
  • Marlee

    2015-10-29T00:18:45.496Z

    My crush approached me the other day but I'm still afraid to approach him ugh
  • Samantha

    2015-06-17T08:44:33.727Z

    how about making up slightly?
  • peony

    2015-06-16T22:32:49.270Z

    Oh yes smoking is good but people can be so unfriendly that smiling can be hard work. I worry about the smile not being reciprocated. Yes I walk with arms crossed just as a coping mechanism.
  • Maika

    2015-06-18T18:39:28.255Z

    Tootally true! But the smile is the strongest point. I can tell by experience :)
  • SHANGHAI

    2015-07-08T06:45:32.747Z

    Mandy and Aidan as the picture haha
  • peony

    2015-06-18T20:13:42.443Z

    Yes francesca rose when guys stare it can be uncomfortable so I see your predicament but if you are in a bar or somewhere quite fun then it won't be so bad.
  • Ella

    2015-06-16T23:08:55.106Z

    Lol Mandy and adian
  • peony

    2015-06-16T22:33:37.947Z

    I mean smiling is good...
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