How do You Keep the Conversation Going on a Date?

While I don’t think it’s necessary to Facebook stalk all the way back to their best friend’s cousin, taking a peak at their favorite TV shows and books may help you have some conversation starters ready. I do think that cyber-stalking too much can lead to ruined expectations before you even go on your date, though, so use this tip with caution!

People like talking about themselves. It’s that simple. If you run out of things to talk about, try to keep your date talking about his or herself. However, there’s definitely a happy medium when it comes to that. If your date is giving you short answers and doesn’t want to offer up a lot of information that could be a red flag. On the other hand, if your date incessantly talks about his or herself, you may have a narcissist on your hands!

This is tough to do, but don’t hype up your date. The more you hype it up in your mind, the more nervous you’ll be when you’re on the date. Instead, think of it as grabbing coffee or a meal with an old friend. The more laidback you are about the date, the easier conversation will flow.

I’m a Nora Ephron die-hard fan, and she talks about “first date stories” in a few of her books. She thought everyone should have their own “first date story” that they keep on the backburner for their first dates. It’s a story that makes you sound adventurous, positive, well rounded, or something else entirely, but it also hides those attributes you don’t want a potential suitor to see just yet.

Don’t talk about your ex. That’s a rudimentary tip, but one that you sometimes need to be reminded of. Avoid topics that are going to stunt the conversation, like your ex and you’re still bitter that he cheated on you, or something with an equal level of awkward. It may just be second nature to start spewing about one of those awkward topics, but try to consciously remind yourself not to.

It can be comforting to go into a first date with a list of questions ready to go if you’re worried about the conversation. However, do not do that! This is a date, not an interrogation room. Rather than working through a list of questions you’ve prepared, listen to what your date is saying and let the questions come naturally. Sure, it may be helpful to have a few standby questions if things get slow, but it’s not necessary!

No, I’m not suggesting that you propose marriage on the first date, but it is interesting to talk about the future with a date. Ask about their dreams for the future, but not in the realm of their personal life. Ask what they want to accomplish most in their career. If your date has found his or her passion in their career, you’ll love to see their eyes light up when they talk about something they love.

What are your tips for keeping a dying conversation going? Let me know in the comments!