Wondering how to have a successful marriage? Marriage is like a book - there’s always another chapter - unfortunately, though, they’ve become the same length as a beginner’s chapter book. Divorce has increased with each generation and has become the norm in today’s society. The United States has the 6th highest divorce rate in the world and there’s only 41% of all first marriages surviving. “Till death do we part” is only a phrase in vows that no longer has meaning. I have faith the sacredness of those words can make a comeback.
“Put your heart, mind, and soul into even your smallest acts, this is the secret to success.” Swami Sivanand.
To have a successful marriage your heart, mind, and soul has to be there. Divorce has become a safety blanket. When forewarned that marriage is a blessing but will also require sacrifice, it goes in one ear and out the other.
All of that, however, can be changed, “till death do we part” can have meaning again... It’s been said that knowledge is power and knowledge concerning marriage prior to (or even for those already married) can bring back faith that being together forever isn’t as far-fetched as it appears.
Marriages go through different stages and with each stage is a solution that works. Newton said it best, “for every action there is an opposite or equal reaction." Therefore, what appears to be a doomed marriage can make it’s come back. To begin to make a dent in divorce ratings, some preventive measures should be considered. Here's how to have a successful marriage.
1. Don't Marry if You Can't Stay Faithful
If the idea of being monogamous feels impossible and unfaithfulness is inevitable, just walk away now. When you truly love someone (while at times you may fantasize about being with someone else), the person you love is your only desire. Figuring out how to have a successful marriage is all about being faithful to each other.
2. Don’t Get Married Due to Pregnancy
Marrying so children live with both parents is an honorable thought. However, there is a greater chance of divorce and the child usually ends up in a broken home, which is worse than what was started with anyway. Sadly, the damage of witnessing constant fighting due to an unhappy marriage can cause severe emotional problems.
3. Don't Marry if You're in an Abusive Relationship
Any kind of abuse, including physical abuse, sexual abuse, emotional abuse, verbal abuse, and psychological abuse are all situations you should get out of before you tie the knot. If you are in an abusive relationship get out and get help. Go to the police, contact family or friends or a women’s shelter.
4. Communicate and Listen to Each Other
You cannot have two alphas in a marriage. Willingness to compromise shows the other you care about his feelings and shows your commitment to making the marriage a success
5. Don’t Be Too Proud for Counseling
Sometimes getting a fresh person's point of view can help you see things in a new way. Seeing a marriage counselor is never something to be ashamed of.
6. Don’t Be Judgmental
Nobody has a halo over their heads so keep an open mind. Everyone makes mistakes and does things the other doesn’t approve of, but instead of throwing stones at one another, open your ears and your heart. Then work on a solution that’ll help.
We, as a whole, can bring back the sacredness of “till death do we part.” All it takes is love, open communication, listening skills, and the willingness to forgive and forget despite the pain it causes. Remember, once married your stories are combined, so wait and see what your next chapter brings.
