How to Respond to 'I Love You' when You Don't Feel the Same ...

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How to Respond to 'I Love You' when You Don't Feel the Same ...
How to Respond to 'I Love You' when You Don't Feel the Same ...

It’s magical to hear “I love you” when the feelings are reciprocated. Your heart skips a beat and you get a warm fuzzy feeling. But when someone says those three little words and you don’t feel the same it’s embarrassing, uncomfortable and downright tricky. How do you react?

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1

I Wish I Could Say the Same

One way to respond to I love you when you don’t feel the same is to let them know that you wish you could say the same back. This might seem a little harsh and odd, but what its saying is that even though you can’t bring yourself to say it right now, there is the possibility that you might get to that point later down the line, so it’s not a complete rejection on your part.

2

I Can’t See Myself Feeling That Way

If somebody has laid their honest, vulnerable intentions down and professed their love for you, the last thing you want to do is string them along. If you know full and well that you are never going to be able to say it back, tell them that and they will then have all the information they need to decide whether they can accept that or if they need to move on.

3

I Can’t Give You What You Want

If you are absolutely sure that you do not share these feelings of love, then be honest with them and tell them that you don’t think you can give them the sort of relationship that they are obviously looking for. It’s not fair to have them be in a partnership where they are doing all the giving, all the time.

4

I Don’t Know How I Feel Yet

This is potentially risky because it might annoy or anger your partner, but if you want to be honest with him and the truth is that you really haven’t felt a strong conviction either way yet, then that is simply what you need to tell him. At least if it goes wrong, then you won’t be left wondering what could have happened if you had been truthful.

5

I’m Not Looking to Commit

Sometimes, even if you think the relationship is just a casual thing, one person can fall head over heels without the other even realizing. If you find yourself in a situation where your boyfriend has professed his love and you were not ready, then it’s only fair that you let him know that you’re not willing to commit in the same way that he is obviously ready to.

6

No Chance!

Sometimes two people can see a relationship in completely different ways, if you think it’s been on the rocks but then he says I love you, you need to end it there and then because how could you continue to be in a relationship with somebody who hasn’t noticed your own feelings of unhappiness? A serious communication mismatch.

***

No matter how much you care for someone, it’s not always possible to return the same feelings of love. If you find yourself in this situation, it’s important to be honest with yourself and the other person. It’s not fair to them to lead them on with false hope. If you’re in a relationship that’s been on the rocks, it’s important to recognize the communication mismatch and take action. It’s best to end the relationship there and then and not give them false hope. Taking the time to have a conversation with them and explain your feelings can help them to understand the situation better. It’s important to remember that you should never stay in a relationship you’re not happy in.

7

I Don’t Want to Say It until I Mean It

People fall in love at different speeds; so don’t feel pressured in to telling him that you love him just because he has told you. Let him know that you respect and care for him too much to simply say the words when they have no meaning. It means that it will be even more special when you finally do feel ready to tell him that you live him.

You have to try to avoid unpleasantness and not be mean. Undoubtedly there is a very strong possibility that not saying “I love you” back can cause upset and at the least, consternation and maybe embarrassment.

Have you ever found yourself in this position?

Feedback Junction

Where Thoughts and Opinions Converge

All of them seem so harsh. Why do we have to be so callous, men have feelings too. If I fall for him, I wouldn't want him to put salt on the wound.

I guess there's really no delicate way to respond to i love you if you don't love them back I would just say awh

@rachel I would rather him say these words and hurt me now before ages months or years later telling me that he never loved and those three words were all a lie

I had this happen- I didn't see the relationship going anywhere; it was supposed to be casual; our lives didn't match up- I'm divorced with 2 teenagers and he wants kids. it's hard when the guy just wants to feel loved but feels so insecure in himself (and pressured by family) that he'll cling to whatever crumbs he can get. I had to cut all ties with him after that, and we'd been friends since high school.

I was in a relationship with this one guy that I had to end about 3 years ago. We were very fond of each other and had said those words and meant them wholeheartedly, but the relationship just wasn't right and I had to end it. I was devastated, but things just weren't right. I got panic attacks after breaking up with him because of how bad I felt, even though I knew I was doing the right thing. A year afterwards, I've moved on only to find myself in a horrible relationship and I was taken advantage of. I was able to leave that person about 10 months ago, only to find that my ex from nearly 3 years ago still hasnt moved on since from when we were together and that he is still in love with me and wants to get back together, but I am in no position emotionally to do such a thing or to see anyone. I'm trying to find the right way to tell him how I feel, as he's a very fragile person & I care about his well being. I wish I knew what to say. Any advice would be much appreciated.

Difficult topic

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