It’s magical to hear “I love you” when the feelings are reciprocated. Your heart skips a beat and you get a warm fuzzy feeling. But when someone says those three little words and you don’t feel the same it’s embarrassing, uncomfortable and downright tricky. How do you react?
One way to respond to I love you when you don’t feel the same is to let them know that you wish you could say the same back. This might seem a little harsh and odd, but what its saying is that even though you can’t bring yourself to say it right now, there is the possibility that you might get to that point later down the line, so it’s not a complete rejection on your part.
If somebody has laid their honest, vulnerable intentions down and professed their love for you, the last thing you want to do is string them along. If you know full and well that you are never going to be able to say it back, tell them that and they will then have all the information they need to decide whether they can accept that or if they need to move on.
If you are absolutely sure that you do not share these feelings of love, then be honest with them and tell them that you don’t think you can give them the sort of relationship that they are obviously looking for. It’s not fair to have them be in a partnership where they are doing all the giving, all the time.
This is potentially risky because it might annoy or anger your partner, but if you want to be honest with him and the truth is that you really haven’t felt a strong conviction either way yet, then that is simply what you need to tell him. At least if it goes wrong, then you won’t be left wondering what could have happened if you had been truthful.
Sometimes, even if you think the relationship is just a casual thing, one person can fall head over heels without the other even realizing. If you find yourself in a situation where your boyfriend has professed his love and you were not ready, then it’s only fair that you let him know that you’re not willing to commit in the same way that he is obviously ready to.
Sometimes two people can see a relationship in completely different ways, if you think it’s been on the rocks but then he says I love you, you need to end it there and then because how could you continue to be in a relationship with somebody who hasn’t noticed your own feelings of unhappiness? A serious communication mismatch.
People fall in love at different speeds; so don’t feel pressured in to telling him that you love him just because he has told you. Let him know that you respect and care for him too much to simply say the words when they have no meaning. It means that it will be even more special when you finally do feel ready to tell him that you live him.
You have to try to avoid unpleasantness and not be mean. Undoubtedly there is a very strong possibility that not saying “I love you” back can cause upset and at the least, consternation and maybe embarrassment.
Have you ever found yourself in this position?
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