Though you may look at dealing with your parents’ divorce differently than other people, even in your own family, that's normal. It depends on what kind of situation occurred for the divorce to happen, what stage in life you are in, and what kind of environment the divorce takes you. However, there are a few things you should take into account when a divorce happens. It will be tough on everybody in your family. Emotions run high, and things are very tense. You may have found a way to deal with it on your own, but here are 9 of my methods of dealing with your parents' divorce.
1. Know It’s Not Your Fault
First thing to remember when dealing with your parents’ divorce is that it is not your fault! A divorce is between your parents, not between you and your parents. Don’t feel like you are trapped within their issues. Your parents have to work out their problems on their own. If you ever feel like they are blaming you for whatever reason, voice your feelings about it to them. They shouldn't be making you feel that way.
2. Do Not Side with One Parent
Whatever the case may be with your parents, try not to side with only one parent. If your mom said bad things about your dad or your dad did something wrong to your mom, let them figure it out. Siding with one parent will only cause more drama and more arguments. If anything, you can see both sides of the situation. Just be wary of getting caught in the middle of their problems. You shouldn’t be solving their issues. Be adamant to them about not taking a side.
3. If You Have Younger Siblings
Dealing with your parents’ divorce is stressful, but it can be more challenging when you have younger siblings. Make yourself available to them and be there to support them. Talk to them about what’s going on, and keep the conversations age appropriate. Do make sure you ask how they are feeling and continue on with a healthy relationship. The occasional bickering is fine, but try to keep the fighting and yelling to a minimum. You are all going through a tough time and need to stick together.
4. Talk to Someone
Don’t be afraid to express your emotions. Bottling up the anguish or anger is unhealthy and can result in serious problems for you. Talk to your best friend or another family member. Cry and yell if you must. Let it out of your system in a healthy way by talking to a friend. Don't be ashamed because you are not alone.
5. Seek Professional Help
Depending on the gravity of how your parents’ divorce affects you, I strongly encourage you to seek therapeutic help. Sometimes, talking to a friend simply isn’t enough. Seeing a therapist is nothing to be ashamed of and is perfectly okay! Therapists are trained for this type of emotion and can truly help you get through this tough time.
6. Keep Doing Your Normal Routine
When a divorce hits your family, it can be difficult to focus on your daily life. It feels like your foundation shifted and now you’re walking in murky waters. But keep going! Continue performing your same routine, even on the days you really feel like just staying in bed all day. This will help keep your mind busy and make feel more intact. A steady schedule will aid in making you feel like you've still got your life in order.
7. Pick up a New Hobby
If you find yourself being dragged down with the emotional roller-coaster that comes with a divorce, try starting a new hobby. Do something you love or something you’ve always wanted to do. Start a blog, or go on nature hikes. Whatever it is, do the things you enjoy and try not to get down in the dumps.
8. Release Your Anger in Healthy Ways
If you’re angry at the divorce, let it out, but don’t blame anyone. Blame only adds to the tension of an already tense situation. Everything will not turn out perfect, and you might blow up at people for no reason. Find outlets to release that anger before you blow up. You can listen to music and yell the lyrics at the top of your lungs, or have a really tough workout session, or have discussions with friends, or even try meditating! There are so many ways to release your anger. It doesn't always have to be a negative experience.
9. Trust That Better Days Lie Ahead
There will be bad days. There will be days where you don’t want to do anything. There will be days where nothing goes right. On those days, all you’ll want to do is sit around watching movies or listening to music, thinking about how bad life is. It is okay to allow yourself to feel blue, but always remember that better days are ahead. It may not seem like it at the moment, but there is always something to smile about. Maybe not now, but one day, everything will be good again and everyone will be happy again.
10. Love Yourself
Above all, remember to love yourself. This can be a really low time for you and can affect all aspects of your life. In the toughest of times, remember that you are stronger than all of it. Don’t be hard on yourself and try not to get down too often. Remember to love yourself and know that others love you for who you are. Use this time to understand yourself and find what makes you happy.
Dealing with your parents’ divorce is a trying time. For the sake of yourself and your family, stay strong. Of course, every divorce is a different case and not everyone will be able to handle it that same way. Find what works best for you. Hopefully, it will give you some peace of mind. Do you have any different methods of handling your parents' divorce? Did it work for you?