7 Reasons Its Smart Not to Hold out for a Soulmate ...

By Alison

7 Reasons Its Smart Not to Hold out for a Soulmate ...

Everyone likes to think that one day they'll meet their soulmate. There has to be someone out there who's perfect for us, right? But you should be wary of hoping for that perfect person to walk into your life; some people may be lucky, but it's not necessarily a realistic hope. Here are some reasons you shouldn't hold out for a soulmate …

1 There's More than One Person for You

The idea of having a soulmate implies that each of us only has one person who is right for them. It's a nice, romantic concept, but if it were true nobody would ever find love again after losing their partner. There isn't just one person for each of us; there are many people we could have a great relationship with. You just need to find one of them!

2 Long Wait

If you hold out for a soulmate, you could be waiting a long time for something that may never happen. Do you really want to regret letting good people slip through your fingers? Don't put your life on hold because you want to wait for the 'right' person. Forget about this near-mythical concept and look instead for someone who will make you happy.

3 Unrealistic Expectations

Waiting for a soulmate can mean living under unrealistic expectations. It's strange to expect one person to fulfil all our needs, yet that is how a soulmate is defined. They're the one person who can make us truly happy and who understands us in a way nobody else could. Why waste time yearning for such an unlikely prospect, when you could be happily single or building a great relationship with Mr Not-Quite-Perfect?

4 Missing out

Don't dismiss someone just because you don't sense that they're your soulmate. If you wait for your soulmate to come into your life, you could be missing out on someone who's a really great person. Holding out for Mr Wonderful is all very well - but he only really turns up in romantic fiction. Since we're living in the real world, don't miss out just because you're judging everyone by impossible standards.

5 Your Soulmate May Not Be a Partner

This might come as a surprise, but your soulmate isn't necessarily who you think they'd be. You expect them to be a partner, but your soulmate could very well be someone who's a friend instead. It's perfectly possible to meet someone who absolutely 'gets you', but with whom you have absolutely no sexual chemistry.

6 Life Isn't a Novel

Life isn't a romantic novel, where we meet the perfect person and everything ends happily. It's rather more complicated than that, and a worthwhile relationship takes a lot of work. Real relationships are flawed, so don't hold out for someone who doesn't exist outside the pages of a novel.

7 Don't Exist

Frankly there is a very real possibility that not only will you not meet your soulmate, but that soulmates don't exist at all (though some may disagree). If they don't, then it's not only depressing waiting for one, but a waste of your life. Concentrate on building a good relationship with a real partner, and in being happy within yourself.

You can still be very happy with someone without feeling that 'soulmate' connection. The best relationships may come from accepting that someone is not your perfect mate, but a pretty darn good one. That doesn't mean putting up with second best, but rather taking a realistic view and accepting that even the best partner isn't perfect. Do you believe in soulmates?

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