People get ghosted for all kinds of reasons. People ghost for all kinds of reasons, too – obviously. It never feels good when someone you've been talking to, dating, or seriously involved with just ups and disappears, but the person who ghosted you definitely had a reason for doing it. Some of those reasons are better, or at least more understandable, than others. Some of them even have merit. That's not true of all of them, of course – some of the reasons you're getting ghosted are rude at best and cowardly at worst. These are some of the excuses both men and women have gone ghost on someone. Odds are, however, you've experienced at least one of these, whether you're the ghost or the ghosted.
1. They Were Never Really Serious
This is by far one of the most common reasons for getting ghosted.
2. They Don't Want a Relationship but Don't Know How to Say so
Not knowing how to say something is going to be a common theme here.
3. It's before a Holiday and They Don't Want the Hassle
This refers to actual holidays, by the way – ghosting someone before Christmas so you don't have to visit their family, ghosting them before Valentine's Day so you don't have to be pinned down on that day of all days, and so on.
4. They Don't like Confrontation of Any Kind
As someone who detests confrontation and who has ghosted someone (but only as a last resort), I can understand this one.
5. They're Going on Vacation and Don't Want the Hassle
A legitimate reason for ghosting someone – a guy explained he was going away for a week and didn't want the hassle of a new relationship while he was on vacation.
6. They Don't Want to Just Say They Don't like You
Telling someone you don't like them is harsh, true, but just disappearing is worse, really.
7. Or They Don't Know How to Tell You They Don't like You
Maybe they'd tell you if they could but they don't know how to say something so bluntly, yet they can't think of any other excuse … so they ghost.
8. They Just Wanted Some Fun
Also a common reason.
9. They're Afraid of Commitment
Likewise common.
10. They Have a Problem but Don't Want to Tell You
Example: one guy said that the girl he was dating was just so annoying, and after waiting for her to not be annoying, he just bailed
11. They Think You're Clingy
This was another common reason, but definitions of “clingy” run the gamut between “she sent four texts overnight” to “he wanted to define the relationship” to “she slept outside my apartment,” so … wide range.
12. You Did Something They Didn't like
But instead of discussing it with you, they ghosted.
13. They're Tired of Waiting for the Relationship to Get Better
In some examples, the ghosts never discussed what needed to get better with their partners, they simply ghosted; in others, the ghosts split after several failed attempts to improve things.
14. They're Afraid of Breaking up with You
They're afraid of what might happen, of the confrontation, of how you'll react to rejection – this is also the reason I ghosted.
15. They're Scared of You
They might also be afraid of physical violence, emotional abuse, or mental abuse – also the reason I ghosted.
16. They Met Someone else
In some cases, someone else might strike their fancy, so they just leave you hanging.
17. They Might Just Be a Coward
And this is a possibility, too.
Have you ever been ghosted? Ever done the ghosting? Share your stories!