People get ghosted for all kinds of reasons. People ghost for all kinds of reasons, too – obviously. It never feels good when someone you've been talking to, dating, or seriously involved with just ups and disappears, but the person who ghosted you definitely had a reason for doing it. Some of those reasons are better, or at least more understandable, than others. Some of them even have merit. That's not true of all of them, of course – some of the reasons you're getting ghosted are rude at best and cowardly at worst. These are some of the excuses both men and women have gone ghost on someone. Odds are, however, you've experienced at least one of these, whether you're the ghost or the ghosted.
Some people struggle with confrontation and fear the awkwardness or potential hurt that a frank discussion may cause. So instead of expressing their feelings openly, they may choose to slowly fade out of your life, thinking it's less painful for both parties. They fail to understand that ghosting someone can create even more confusion and pain. For those not wanting to commit to a relationship, clearly articulating that can be daunting, and thus, they resort to radio silence, leaving you to interpret the signs on your own.
Everyone knows holidays come with expectations, gifts to exchange, parties to attend, and those all-important 'meet the family' milestones. But for some, this translates into pressure – a pressure they'd do just about anything to avoid, including going MIA. Whether it's the fear of commitment that the holiday season often underscores or simply not wanting to invest in a relationship that might not last past the New Year's Eve kiss, ghosting becomes their unfortunate escape route. It's like they're hoping the holiday buzz will drown out the awkward silence they've left in their wake.
Confrontation brings with it the risk of emotional turbulence and awkwardness that many would rather avoid. Ghosting, thus, becomes a silent message—a way of saying, 'This isn't working' without the potential for drama and hurt feelings. It's a silent closure that speaks volumes for those who choose to fade away rather than engage in potentially uncomfortable conversations. While it's not the most commendable way to handle situations, it's often a method for self-preservation for individuals who feel cornered by the mere thought of confrontation.
This mindset is surprisingly common. People often seek a complete escape from daily life when they vacation, which sometimes includes pausing new connections. It might seem harsh, but it's essentially a case of out-of-sight, out-of-mind. Consider the fact that maintaining contact requires time and effort, which some may prefer to invest in relaxation or travel experiences. And who knows, the distance and break might lead to an "absence makes the heart grow fonder" scenario upon their return. But then again, with the transient nature of some flings, perhaps the ghosting becomes a permanent vacation from the fledgling relationship.
Often, when someone is bothered by an aspect of their partner’s behavior or personality, they feel uncomfortable addressing it. This may be because they fear confrontation or do not wish to hurt the other person’s feelings. Rather than communicating their issue, they opt for ghosting as an escape route. It's the silent signal that something was off, without the mess of a confrontation. But it leaves the other person confused and hurt, hanging on to a why that will probably never be explained.
Fear can be a powerful motivator, and for some, the mere possibility of a negative outcome is enough to push them into silence. If they've had rough experiences in the past, they may project those fears onto you, even if you've given them no reason to believe you'd treat them similarly. This is especially true when it comes to the delicate dance of modern dating, where past traumas can unexpectedly resurface. Indeed, for those with a history of encountering harsh rejection, ghosting can seem like the kindest escape route for both parties.
Have you ever been ghosted? Ever done the ghosting? Share your stories!