No matter what type of relationship you are in, there are rules, but rules in a lesbian relationship are something that a lot of people don't understand. I've been in a gay relationship for 6 years and there are rules in a lesbian relationship that none of my friends get – but that's okay! I've got all of the rules below that can really help you understand how a lesbian or even a gay relationship works!
1. There Are No Gender Definitions
When it comes to lesbian relationships, one of the top rules in a lesbian relationship is that there are no gender definitions. Just because I work outside of the home and my partner works inside the home, doesn't mean that I am suddenly the 'man' in the relationship. It just means that I work outside and she works in. There aren't automatically roles that lesbian relationships follow, it depends on the participants.
2. Not Every Relationship Has a Butch/Femme
Also, not every relationship has a butch lesbian and a femme lesbian. Truthfully, a lot of people have that misconception about lesbians and it's simply not true. In my relationship, we are just us, regular people who happen to love one another. I am not a femme or a butch and neither is my partner.
3. Sex Toys
Another rule in a lesbian relationship is that not every relationship has to have sex toys – and if a lesbian does use them, it doesn't mean that she is missing something. Truthfully, a girl can get off in so many other ways and sex toys can just be for fun. In a lesbian relationship, us girls just want to have fun!
4. Sex Does Not Have to Be a Staple Every Night
Because you are dealing with two girls, there isn't a rule that you have to have sex every single night. You can actually go a few weeks or even months without sex just because you don't feel like it. Try that out with a guy and who knows what can happen to your relationship!
5. Nurturing the Relationship Takes Time
A lot of the time, people just assume that because two lesbians are dating, they are automatically engaged – or that just because they are in a relationship, they automatically want to settle down. Nurturing the relationship takes a long time and trust me, a girl wants to know her partner inside and out before completely committing.
6. Any Cheating is Still Cheating
In a lesbian relationship, any cheating, whether it is online, with another girl or even with another guy – it's all considered cheating. This is a huge rule in my relationship and because of past relationships, I have a bunch of trust issues. This is another misconception that people have about lesbian relationships – that if a lesbian cheats with a guy, doesn't mean that she is cheating. Not true!
7. No Automatic Threesomes
Finally, another rule in a lesbian relationship all revolves around threesomes. Just because a girl is in another relationship with another girl, doesn't automatically mean that she is going to ask for a threesome. In my relationship, I can't share – ever.
So, while these are some rules and misconceptions that you might not understand – do you get them a little better now? Lesbian relationships are normal and have rules just like anyone else! So, what other rules do you have in your relationship?
Frequently Asked Questions
- What are common challenges in lesbian relationships?
- Communication and societal pressures can be unique challenges, but open dialogue helps overcome them.
- How important is communication in lesbian relationships?
- It's crucial; honest conversations build trust and understanding between partners.
- Do lesbian couples face different relationship expectations?
- Yes, they often navigate both societal stereotypes and personal boundaries differently than heterosexual couples.
- Is monogamy expected in lesbian relationships?
- Expectations vary; some value monogamy, while others prefer open dynamics—what matters is mutual agreement.
- How can we handle jealousy in a lesbian relationship?
- Acknowledging feelings and discussing them openly helps manage jealousy constructively.
- Why is community support important for lesbian couples?
- Supportive communities offer understanding, reduce isolation, and strengthen relationship resilience.
- How do lesbian couples balance individuality and togetherness?
- By respecting personal space and shared experiences, partners maintain a healthy balance.
- Are traditional gender roles relevant in lesbian relationships?
- Many couples create their own roles based on preferences rather than traditional norms.
- How can lesbian couples deal with external discrimination?
- Building a strong internal bond and seeking supportive networks helps combat discrimination.
- What advice helps new lesbian couples thrive?
- Prioritize honest communication, set clear boundaries, and embrace your unique relationship journey.