All Women's Talk

7 Rules in a Lesbian Relationship People Don't Understand ...

By Heather

No matter what type of relationship you are in, there are rules, but rules in a lesbian relationship are something that a lot of people don't understand. I've been in a gay relationship for 6 years and there are rules in a lesbian relationship that none of my friends get – but that's okay! I've got all of the rules below that can really help you understand how a lesbian or even a gay relationship works!

1 There Are No Gender Definitions

When it comes to lesbian relationships, one of the top rules in a lesbian relationship is that there are no gender definitions. Just because I work outside of the home and my partner works inside the home, doesn't mean that I am suddenly the 'man' in the relationship. It just means that I work outside and she works in. There aren't automatically roles that lesbian relationships follow, it depends on the participants.

2 Not Every Relationship Has a Butch/Femme

Also, not every relationship has a butch lesbian and a femme lesbian. Truthfully, a lot of people have that misconception about lesbians and it's simply not true. In my relationship, we are just us, regular people who happen to love one another. I am not a femme or a butch and neither is my partner.

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3 Sex Toys

Another rule in a lesbian relationship is that not every relationship has to have sex toys – and if a lesbian does use them, it doesn't mean that she is missing something. Truthfully, a girl can get off in so many other ways and sex toys can just be for fun. In a lesbian relationship, us girls just want to have fun!

4 Sex Does Not Have to Be a Staple Every Night

Because you are dealing with two girls, there isn't a rule that you have to have sex every single night. You can actually go a few weeks or even months without sex just because you don't feel like it. Try that out with a guy and who knows what can happen to your relationship!

5 Nurturing the Relationship Takes Time

A lot of the time, people just assume that because two lesbians are dating, they are automatically engaged – or that just because they are in a relationship, they automatically want to settle down. Nurturing the relationship takes a long time and trust me, a girl wants to know her partner inside and out before completely committing.

6 Any Cheating is Still Cheating

In a lesbian relationship, any cheating, whether it is online, with another girl or even with another guy – it's all considered cheating. This is a huge rule in my relationship and because of past relationships, I have a bunch of trust issues. This is another misconception that people have about lesbian relationships – that if a lesbian cheats with a guy, doesn't mean that she is cheating. Not true!

7 No Automatic Threesomes

Finally, another rule in a lesbian relationship all revolves around threesomes. Just because a girl is in another relationship with another girl, doesn't automatically mean that she is going to ask for a threesome. In my relationship, I can't share – ever.

So, while these are some rules and misconceptions that you might not understand – do you get them a little better now? Lesbian relationships are normal and have rules just like anyone else! So, what other rules do you have in your relationship?

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