In an ideal world, when you have to go through a break up with someone, you could stay friends with them afterwards and maintain an amicable and civil relationship. Of course, if you've ever been through a few splits of your own, you will know that this isn’t always the case! Sometimes, no matter how much you think it would be beneficial, being pal with a former boo just isn’t on the cards. Look out for these signs you are not ready to be friends with your ex.
Table of contents:
- still hurt
- can’t talk about them
- hopes of reconciliation
- social media stalking
- trying to change them
1 Still Hurt
If you still feel hurt from the split, then being around your ex and pretending to be fine with the situation is only going to prevent that wound from healing. It is almost like picking at a scab and not letting it properly grow. You might be fine in a few months, but for now, you need to give yourself time.
2 Can’t Talk about Them
If you can’t talk to someone about your ex without getting all worked up in a sad or angry way, then you definitely aren’t ready to be friends with them. That kind of leftover grudge or hurt isn’t going to go away in an instant.
You definitely aren’t ready to be friends with him if the thought of him being with someone else sends you into a fit of jealousy. There are clearly still feelings there that aren’t appropriate for friendship.
4 Hopes of Reconciliation
If you are only agreeing to be friends with him because you harbour secret hopes that you might get back together, then that isn’t fair on him because you are making him stay around for a purpose that he isn’t aware of.
Don’t try to forge a friendship with your ex simply because you are feeling lonely. There are other people to turn to for that like friends and family and your ex is the last person you should be turning to when you have those lonely feelings because you will just want to make things go back to the way they used to.
6 Social Media Stalking
You aren’t ready for a mature friendship with him if you still spend a lot of time stalking his social media platforms. That’s not the right kind of footing to start a friendship on.
7 Trying to Change Them
Don’t agree to be friends with your ex in the hope that you can turn him in to a project and mould him in to the kind of person that you want him to be. It didn’t work the first time, and it won’t work this time either.
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