The honest truth about why love is not a defense or an excuse no one likes

1. Cheating

If you cheat on your partner with someone you're madly in love with, it's still considered cheating. If you really want to be with another person, break up with your mate before anything inappropriate happens. No matter how you look at it, cheating is one of the things love is not an excuse for. There is ultimately no excuse for cheating, and you cannot justify your wrongdoing by claiming you did it out of love. You made a promise to your partner to be faithful, and you broke it. If you suspect your partner is showing similar selfish behavior, watch out for the signs he only cares about himself before trust is completely broken.

2. Lying

When you love your partner, you want to protect them from the world, so it makes sense to lie about little things like how good they look in their new suit. However, you can't tell big lies to your partner out of love. If you lost your job or heard about their aunt dying, they deserve to know. The secrets aren't helping them.

Some of the most common big lies that damage relationships include:

3. Fighting

When you're scared of losing someone, your emotions can get pretty intense. However, you can't hit your partner when they do something wrong in order to show them how much you care about their poor decisions. Hurting them is not going to "put them in line" or show them how much you "care." Don't do it. If you or someone you know is facing physical harm or abuse, remember that love is never an excuse, and you can reach out for support at the National Domestic Violence Hotline for safe guidance.

4. Holding Them Back

If your partner is dying to accept a job offer they got in another state, don't convince them to stay in your hometown. Your love for them shouldn't make you fight to keep them from growing. It should make you want what's best for them. If it's meant to be, you'll find a way to work everything out. Supporting each other's dreams is one of the best ways to keep your relationship from going stale and ensure you grow together instead of apart.

5. Hurting Yourself

It doesn't matter what your partner has done or what you have done to your partner. Do not hurt yourself over it. Love is an intense emotion that can cause us to do crazy things, but it should never be the cause of you harming yourself. Even if your partner left you, they wouldn't want you to be in physical pain. If you're struggling with self-harm or experiencing a mental health crisis, please reach out to the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline for immediate, confidential support.

6. Starving Yourself

If you want to lose weight or get in better shape for yourself, do it by altering your diet and going to the gym. Never try to change your body for another person, and never ever do it by starving yourself. Your body is too important to suffer through a lack of food. Be good to yourself, even if no one else will be. If you are struggling with body image issues or disordered eating, you can find resources and support through the National Eating Disorders Association.

7. Changing Yourself

Don't ditch all of your friends and get a new wardrobe after falling in love, because you think it'll make your partner like you better. Love should make you want to be a better person, but not a totally different person. Don't lose yourself, and never go to the extreme of starving yourself just to please someone else. Healthy relationships are built on mutual respect and accepting each other as you are; you can learn more about building these healthy boundaries from Love is Respect.

Some people who fall in love allow the emotion to control their lives. It's a beautiful thing to find someone you want to spend the rest of your life with, but they should be making your life better, not worse. Have you ever been in a destructive relationship?